Chronicles of Jaysephus

Blog Spamming at the Highest Level

2012-01-20T21:53:00.000-05:00

This was so awesome that I had to share. Since most spam comments are over the top attempts to appeal to your vanity by telling you how awesome you are, this new (to me) and fresh approach made me laugh. Out loud. You know, LOL...

The next time I read a blog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as
much as this one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read, but I
actually thought youd have something interesting to say. All I hear
is a bunch of whining about something that you could fix if you
werent too busy looking for attention.

I really hope this bot comes back and spams me again. To double the greatness, this was a comment left on my portfolio site on the "About Me" page. Yes, Mr. Bot, I am looking for attention. Thank you for doing your part.

But What Are You Thinking About?

2012-01-20T14:55:00.001-05:00

Dedicated to Ron Nieto. He knows why...

Book Review: David and the Old Man by William Zemba

2012-01-05T10:49:00.000-05:00

This book has a wonderful, unique story wrapped up in an incredibly poorly written package. I tried to look past the writing issues because I wanted to read the tale of the Zemba family and see how it concluded but it was painful. I am frankly surprised this made it past even the lowliest set of eyes at the publisher because there are enough blatant, structural problems throughout the pages that it should have raised many red flags (and then a red pen). Even a cursory edit would have improved this book tenfold.

The story alone is fascinating and unique. Any time a writer can meld generational angst and add male anorexia into the mix, there is potential for some riveting reading. It is too bad that the story gets muddled in the rambling, repetitive and less-than-sophisticated writing style. It is a lost opportunity and we, the readers, are the poorer for it.

BookSneeze® has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book for review.

The Magic Ticket

2011-08-30T09:13:00.000-05:00

I am currently happily involved in a new project with author Ryan Sprague called “The Magic Ticket.” I provide the illustrations for a series of stories about a young boy and the adventures he has with his dad, magically traveling around the country to cities and venues known for their places in college football history. Here is the official “blurb” from the website:

Andrew Camp had no idea his grandfather left him and his father a gift. A magic ticket that takes them on a series of journeys to the meccas of college football. In a race against time, the Camp's must answer questions and solve a riddle to receive the true surprise their grandfather has waiting. Will they accomplish their goals? Will their grandfather accomplish his?

For fifteen weeks, join Andrew and his dad as they jump in the the Red Sea in Lincoln, wake up the echos in South Bend, and see Osceola plant the spear in Tallahassee.

Go Blue!, War Eagle!, and Boomer Sooner!
Nittany Lions, LSU Tigers, and the Bear... Whoa Nellie.

It's a college football fan's dream season and a story children will love.

Read The Magic Ticket.

We start this week (Thursday, September 1) so sign up and enjoy the season in a new way.

Website (with a “bonus” post about me): http://www.magicticketjourneys.com/

The first chapter: http://www.magicticketjourneys.com/pages/read-a-sample

Talking, but no Walking

2011-08-26T10:09:00.000-05:00

Peace Be With You by David Carlson

David Carlson conducted more than 30 interviews with monks, nuns and other members of monastic communities around the United States, recording their thoughts and prayers in dealing with modern day terrorism. His search for answers in how they responded to 9/11 and its aftermath is the basis for his personal journey and struggle to find true peace in our time.

This book was not an easy read. I wrote more notes and scrawled more questions in the margins (well, the digital equivalent) as I read than any other book I have consumed since college. I found myself arguing on one page and on the next agreeing, which I am sure will make the author happy. I was both inspired and annoyed which makes this a tough review.

First, the inspiration. It was good to be reminded that all of humanity is loved equally by God and that, as Christians, we are commanded to love them as Christ loves them, regardless if they are terrorists or second cousins. I was also touched by the genuine love the monastic community shows in their circle of influence—whether selling jam, selling dogs or engaging visitors on their home turf. If we would all concentrate on our circle, Christ’s love would spread rapidly. Love God, love people on wheels is a grand concept.

My frustrations with the book were many but the main issue I had was the lack of instruction and real world examples of loving our enemies in a practical way. The monasteries and their occupants, much like the professor author, came across as cogs in spiritual think tanks where folks espouse the virtues of grand ideas but don’t quite get to the hard part of actually doing anything about it. I would love to have read about one of the monks who was heartbroken at the United State’s response to 9/11 and, because of this pain, was moved to action. Not dialoguing with a friendly Muslim or protesting the war (regardless of what they say, those are easy responses), but maybe moving to a Middle Eastern country, integrating themselves in the community and sitting down with the terrorists and practically working out the ideas they talked about. What does this love leading to peace look like when it is lived out on a daily basis? Alas, there was not one example of this and it would have given the book a lot more credibility if it had been included.

I, personally, do not know any Christian who hates the Muslim community (and, shockingly, I would be considered an evangelical). I do know people who live with Muslims in the Middle East (Israel, to be exact) and know first hand that Jesus is moving in their midst and changing hearts. I read about Palestinians who are Christians and know that Jesus is alive and gaining ground there as well. I also know Christians, home and abroad, who are concerned about terrorism and how to deal with it and are conflicted on how to love people who hate you and want you dead for no other reason than you don’t believe like they do. A book showing how to do that would be very helpful. A book using a giant brush to paint American Christians as blood thirsty maniacs who don’t spend any time thinking and reflecting about serious things and want all our enemies dead? Not so much.

I am glad I read this book but I am also glad to be finished with it.

BookSneeze® has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book for review.

Faux Famous Free Fiction Friday!

2011-07-29T14:23:00.001-05:00

It’s Friday so I figured I might as well give away some more fiction. After all, Free Fiction Wednesday suffers from its lack of perfect alliteration. So, today is Free Fiction Friday and it is your lucky day because today is a two-fer. I have bundled two short stories together for the “price” of one. And since it is free, that makes it even cheaper (or should I say “less expensive”?)! And the best part? They are short. For all of you that were hesitant to read “Adam Mahoney...” because it was a novel, this will be perfect for you. Short stories. Short. Not long at all. Go forth and read!

Two Short Stories:
“Two Short Stories” by Jay Colle is … well, two short stories. Truth in advertising is alive and well. The first story, “Save Me, Black Jesus,” is a sober look at the prospect of dying told through the eyes of a patient in a hospital. The second story, “Oh, Tanner Baum,” is a humorous look at selecting a Christmas tree told through the eyes of a young boy. The stories are so far apart in tone and concept that they cannot see each other even if they use binoculars. Which is why it makes perfect sense to bundle them together. Seriously. Stop staring at me…

To make it easy, I am supplying it in three formats: Mobi for your Kindle, ePub for iBook (and most everyone else) and as a PDF for those who may want to print or bypass an ebook reader. Download the version you prefer (or all three, I don’t mind) and enjoy. If you like it, I ask that you consider two things:

Let me (and the world) know by leaving a comment on this page and
Pass it on to other people who might also enjoy reading it (include this email with the download information).

That’s it. Simple Simon. Free fiction for all. Download and enjoy!

Doggy Dilemma

2011-07-21T15:33:00.000-05:00

Do Dogs Dream?

2011-07-20T14:28:00.000-05:00

Free Fiction, No Strings Attached.

2011-07-04T15:22:00.001-05:00

I have recently completed a novel. Yeah, yeah, everyone is a writer. I know, it is cliche and predictable. What isn’t predictable is that I am giving it away. Yes, you read that correctly, it is yours for free if you want it. So, what is it about? This:

Adam Mahoney enjoyed a normal existence in a normal town, minding his normal business, okay with being normal. He wakes one morning to discover his new normal is a life that has never been lived, much less successfully navigated. Everything he has known and is comfortable with is taken away. Faced with unlimited possibilities, what will he choose? How will he respond when he knows that no one else could possibly be affected by any action he takes? Can any choice be labelled selfish when he's the last man standing on the face of the earth?

To make it easy, I am supplying it in three formats: Mobi for your Kindle, ePub for iBook (and most everyone else) and as a PDF for those who may want to print or bypass an ebook reader. Download the version you prefer (or all three, I don’t mind) and enjoy. (Right click the desired link and select Save link as... from your options, then select a place on your computer to download the file.)

If you like it, I ask that you consider two things, okay, maybe three:

Let me (and the world) know by leaving a comment on this page or the Facebook page and
Pass it on to other people who might also enjoy reading it (include this email with the download information) then
Go like the Facebook Fan Page for the book and "Like" it.

That’s it. Simple Simon. Free fiction for all. Download and enjoy!

Trust 30: Entry Seventeen

2011-06-16T14:53:00.000-05:00

Invent the Future by Cindy Gallop
A man should learn to detect and watch that gleam of light which flashes across his mind from within, more than the lustre of the firmament of bards and sages. Yet he dismisses without notice his thought, because it is his. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

My favorite quote of all time is Alan Kay: ‘In order to predict the future, you have to invent it.’ I am all about inventing the future. Decide what you want the future to be and make it happen. Because you can. Write about your future now.
(Author: Cindy Gallop)

My future? It will only be mildly different from my present.

In the future I will have five dollars more than I need instead of five dollars less.

In the future people that do not know me will read my words and be genuinely interested in what I am working on next.

In the future I will wake up every morning and see Hope.

In the future I will have very comfortable chairs on the Man Porch. And a real ash tray.

In the future I will read this and laugh.

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Find out more at http://ralphwaldoemerson.me

Dork Alert

2011-06-15T22:02:00.000-05:00

I am posting this entry from my new iPhone. It's really an experiment to see how complicated it is to complete the task. So far, so good. And when I get better at typing on this phone's virtual keyboard, it will be exponentially better. Till then...

Trust 30: Entry Sixteen

2011-06-15T15:28:00.000-05:00

Wholly Strange and New by Bridget Pilloud
When good is near you, when you have life in yourself, it is not by any known or accustomed way; you shall not discern the foot-prints of any other; you shall not see the face of man; you shall not hear any name;—— the way, the thought, the good, shall be wholly strange and new. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Can you remember a moment in your life when you had life in yourself and it was wholly strange and new? Can you remember the moment when you stopped walking a path of someone else, and started cutting your own?

Write about that moment. And if you haven’t experienced it yet, let the miracle play out in your mind’s eye and write about that moment in your future.
(Author: Bridget Pilloud)

Two months ago, we (wife and myself) walked my youngest child through a trying time, dealing with issues that we all have to deal with as we keep moving forward toward our goal of growing up. (What we eventually realize is, but not at 19 years old, we never stop growing up but we, hopefully, have more ammo from experience to deal with the struggles.) It was a particularly arduous few weeks, requiring my wife and I to invest quite a bit of emotional energy in helping him successfully walk through it. Toward the end, as issues were clearing up and the situation was finding closure, I was talking to him on the phone and realized that I was done. That the most recent circumstance was a marker and it was time to let go. I can’t pinpoint any one reason I sensed this—maybe it was his voice and the confidence he exuded, or maybe it was his overall calm demeanor—but I knew that we had just experienced our final push together. I was surprised, not that it happened, but more at the timing. There was no warning; it arrived unannounced.

This has happened with my other children as well but what made this moment feel so real was that it happened with our youngest child. I couldn’t nod in approval and quickly turn my focus on the next child because there wasn’t a next child, he was it. I understand that I will never be completely done with my kids, there will always be situations they roll into and advice that will be freely given (even now I am encouraging and advising them on major decisions), but there is a moment when you don’t have to pull and cajole (as much) and you actually feel confident that they don’t need you to use your muscle for them to be successful. The hand you’ve been using to grab their shirt and keep them upright (or smack them in the head) can now be used for a pat on the back.

The moment is both liberating and sad but mainly liberating. It is the ultimate moment of no longer walking a path of someone else, although walking their path has had a lot to do with cutting my own; the trails are very intertwined and rightfully so. Currently I am sharpening my machete and loading up on bug spray, prepping and anticipating where my path will veer. Hopefully I will still be able to hear the kids hacking away at theirs...

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Find out more at http://ralphwaldoemerson.me

Trust 30: Entry Fifteen

2011-06-14T22:08:00.000-05:00

One Thing by Colin Wright
Do your work, and I shall know you. Do your work, and you shall reinforce yourself. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Take a moment, step back from your concerns, and focus on one thing: You have one life to achieve everything you’ve ever wanted. Sounds simple, but when you really focus on it, let it seep into your consciousness, you realize you only have about 100 years to get every single thing you’ve ever wanted to do. No second chances. This is your only shot. Suddenly, this means you should have started yesterday. No more waiting for permission or resources to start. Today is the day you make the rest of your life happen. Write down one thing you’ve always wanted to do and how you will achieve that goal. Don’t be afraid to be very specific in how you’ll achieve it: once you start achieving, your goals will get bigger and your capability to meet them will grow.
(Author: Colin Wright)

It is strange, but at my age, a lot of the things I wanted to achieve I did and the things I did not don’t really matter all that much. Some of the the unconquered goals are still possible, but I am not sure I have the desire to burn the energy needed to make them happen. I am not necessarily tired, just content. I tend to derive a lot more pleasure from spending time with my wife and having adult conversations with my kids than holing up in a room trying to get 1000 words written before I sleep. I love sitting on the back porch with friends, maybe smoking a cigar and enjoying a drink, but mainly laughing and leisurely swapping wisdom. And I have discovered a healthy version of living vicariously through my kids, anticipating the great things they will accomplish and thoroughly enjoying their journey as it plays out in front of me. Yes, there were missed targets and disappointments along the way, but I don’t look back with regret. Rather, I have an appreciation that it’s all turned out just fine.

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Find out more at http://ralphwaldoemerson.me

Trust 30: Entry Fourteen

2011-06-14T08:16:00.000-05:00

Alternative Paths by Jonathan Fields

When good is near you, when you have life in yourself, it is not by any known or accustomed way; you shall not discern the foot-prints of any other; you shall not see the face of man; you shall not hear any name; the way, the thought, the good, shall be wholly strange and new. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The world buzzes about goals and visions. Focus. Create a vivid picture of exactly where you want to go. Dream big, then don’t let anything or anyone stop you. The problem, as Daniel Gilbert wrote in Stumbling Upon Happiness, is that we’re horrible at forecasting how we’ll really feel 10 or 20 years from now – once we’ve gotten what we dreamed of. Often, we get there only to say, “That’s not what I thought it would be,” and ask, “What now?” Ambition is good. Blind ambition is not. It blocks out not only distraction, but the many opportunities that might take you off course but that may also lead you in a new direction. Consistent daily action is only a virtue when bundled with a willingness to remain open to the unknown. In this exercise, look at your current quest and ask, “What alternative opportunities, interpretations and paths am I not seeing?” They’re always there, but you’ve got to choose to see them.

(Author: Jonathan Fields)

I could have written this prompt. I am a journey evangelist. Having the luxury of being able to look back for longer than I have to look forward, I can attest that the life trip is to be enjoyed, not fought against. Just today I was chatting with my youngest son who is in Texas for the summer and facing some big decisions. My final words to him were: “Plan? Absolutely. Be flexible? Oh yeah. Stay prayed up and listen...”

So, today, I want to second the sentiment of the prompt and not add anything to it. Enjoy the journey and don’t get bogged down in the “what ifs” and the “what nows.” Approach the bends and forks in the road with a positive “what can I do with this so I can continue to move forward.” Most importantly, find a way to enjoy...

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Find out more at http://ralphwaldoemerson.me

Trust 30: Entry Thirteen

2011-06-12T21:08:00.000-05:00

Surprise by Ashley Ambirge
I will not hide my tastes or aversions. I will so trust that what is deep is holy, if we follow the truth, it will bring us out safe at last. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Think of a time when you didn’t think you were capable of doing something, but then surprised yourself. How will you surprise yourself this week?
(Author: Ashley Ambirge)

I started and finished two novels. I started and completed three short stories. There was a time not that long ago that I would have laughed if someone had suggested that. Maybe I’ll start another manuscript this week.

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Find out more at http://ralphwaldoemerson.me

Trust 30: Entry Twelve

2011-06-11T22:04:00.000-05:00

Fear by Lachlan Cotter

These are the voices which we hear in solitude, but they grow faint and inaudible as we enter into the world. Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its members. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Is fear holding you back from living your fullest life and being truly self expressed? Put yourself in the shoes of the you who’s already lived your dream and write out the answers to the following:

Is the insecurity you’re defending worth the dream you’ll never realize? or the love you’ll never venture? or the joy you’ll never feel?

Will the blunder matter in 10 years? Or 10 weeks? Or 10 days? Or 10 minutes?

Can you be happy being anything less than who you really are?

Now Do. The Thing. You Fear.

(Author: Lachlan Cotter)

Fear has never held me back.

Having said that, I have been scared, many times, but I have pushed through the fear to at least try. Now, other things have held me back. They always will, regardless of all the cheerleading and self-help books that try to convince you that “all you need to do is believe in yourself” and the world will be yours to conquer. Nothing is that simple. My philosophy has always been “step through every open door” but opportunities don’t always work out like I expect or dream. But I do not look back on any chance missed or completed with regret because every chapter of my story has made me who I am. And, thankfully, I am a book still being written.

I am most pleased by the sequels to my story, my children. I made a conscious decision when they were young that my new “career goal” was to raise three children and send them out into the world with a strong sense of self, ready to succeed. It was a lot of work and sacrifice but there is not another path I could have taken that would have been more wise. They are all adults now, making their own way and they are dreams realized, ventures of love and joy. They have allowed me to live the last 25 years full and with zero remorse. And yet, I am still relatively young. What’s next? I have no idea but I am ready to find out, ready to blunder, without fear.

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Find out more at http://ralphwaldoemerson.me

Trust 30: Entry Eleven

2011-06-10T15:57:00.000-05:00

Divine Idea by Fabian Kruse

Imitation is Suicide. Insist on yourself; never imitate. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Write down in which areas of your life you have to overcome these suicidal tendencies of imitation, and how you can transform them into a newborn you – one that doesn’t hide its uniqueness, but thrives on it. There is a “divine idea which each of us represents” – which is yours?

(Author: Fabian Kruse)

There will never be another me. That is not arrogant, it is just truth. I am unique. You are unique. Every person that currently takes up space on the planet is unique. Every person that has ever or will ever take up space on this planet was and will be unique. And that uniqueness allows each of us to offer something extraordinary to the world. Does this always happen? Absolutely not. There are a lot of forces working against us, keeping our uniqueness buried or stifled. Economics, where we are born, who we are born to, what form of government we are born under and societal expectations are just a few of the many parameters that can choke back our potential. Is it harder for some more than others? Yes, much harder, but not impossible.*

What is “suicidal” is to not discover who I really am and be content trying to live out the expectations of others, choosing to not fight through the detritus that hinders that discovery. To go along to get along, go with the flow and live out all the other cliches that are used to describe mediocrity. To figure out how I am wired, what my default response mechanisms are, what my strengths are and move forward in that knowledge, expecting to succeed.

There are potential pitfalls to this. I can take this charge to an extreme and get wrapped up in me to the detriment of others. That is my right but it portends a lonely, solitary existence. The key to not ending up a jerk (which is always a possibility when focused on me) is to take the knowledge of myself and still swim the waters of humanity and culture and life, cultivating the ability to not only get along with others, but to find the balance of giving and getting that allows everyone to thrive. To be me and not alienate everyone else in the process is the ultimate success story.

*I realize how arrogant that sounds when a middle class white dude pretends to be speaking for everyone, including the poor and afflicted all over the globe, but, any time someone starts discussing “discovering yourself” and is semi-serious... well, I realize I am canoeing dangerously close to Deepak Chopra waters so I request some giving of slack. Thanks in advance.

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Find out more at http://ralphwaldoemerson.me

Trust 30: Entry Ten

2011-06-09T12:32:00.000-05:00

Your Personal Message by Eric Handler

To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men, that is genius. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

What is burning deep inside of you? If you could spread your personal message RIGHT NOW to 1 million people, what would you say?

(Author: Eric Handler)

The Personal Manifesto of William J. Colle III (in bullet point format for easy skimming)

The world is a lot bigger than your circle. Look up every now and then and expand your circle.
Do not assume it is always about you because everyone else is assuming it is about them and if everyone else is assuming it is about them then it cannot possibly be about you. See how this sick cycle of life spins?
Think about others FIRST and break the previously referenced sick cycle of life.
Do not get married until you are ready to GIVE to another person and think about them first.
Do not have children until you are ready to GIVE EVEN MORE to yet another person (or two or three) and think about them first. Don’t panic, you have it in you. Trust me.
Unless you are married, keep your pants on.
People are more important than things.
Face-to-face conversation will always trump a digital conversation, even if the news is not good. Especially if the news is not good.
God does not care if your team wins.
Servant Leadership ascends any other style of leadership.
Singing and dancing are good for you, regardless of skill level. So is laughing (but not at people who are not very skilled at singing or dancing unless they are genuinely laughing at themselves).
If all else fails and everything is confusing and discombobulated and you can’t figure out your next move, remember this: Love God and Love People. Start over from there and it will start making sense again.

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Find out more at http://ralphwaldoemerson.me

Trust 30: Entry Nine

2011-06-08T13:40:00.000-05:00

Afraid to Do by Mary Jaksch

The other terror that scares us from self-trust is our consistency; a reverence for our past act or word, because the eyes of others have no other data for computing our orbit than our past acts, and we are loath to disappoint them. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Emerson says: “Always do what you are afraid to do.” What is ‘too scary’ to write about? Try doing it now.

(Author: Mary Jaksch)

I wrote it but I’m not sharing it. There is a big difference between burping and throwing up.

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Find out more at http://ralphwaldoemerson.me

Trust 30: Entry Eight

2011-06-07T10:31:00.000-05:00

Five Years by Corbett Barr

There will be an agreement in whatever variety of actions, so they be each honest and natural in their hour. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

What would you say to the person you were five years ago? What will you say to the person you’ll be in five years?

(Author: Corbett Barr)

Dear Jay (five years ago): Things are going well, aren’t they? You just started a new and promising job as a Creative Director. Your first born just finished his first year at college and your daughter just graduated high school with plans to attend the same college as your oldest. Your youngest child completed his freshman year of high school that included a successful season on the baseball diamond and is now looking forward to the Babe Ruth summer season. Your wife is nearing completion of her first year at her first job outside of the classroom and it has been a success. Congratulations. Life is good.

Now, in regards to William’s new girlfriend, yes, they are going to get married. And your daughter? She’ll be in California for a year and then spend a semester in Israel and another in Italy before she comes home again. And when Jordan blows out his elbow next month? You should know that he won’t ever play baseball again, regardless of all the rehab and two more surgeries. And all that money you and Hope are pouring into school and vacations and whatever else comes up? You’re still paying it off in 2011. In fact, you have another solid year before any of that goes away. (I probably should have written this to Jay “ten years ago” and maybe you’d have planned better.) Your wife has held on to the same job for five years, but you? Dude, you are currently on your third job since now. Sure, the reasons are varied and, mostly, out of your control, but you should know that you have been consistent in adding to your work history.

So, what’s the takeaway? William and Jul are happy and thriving. Laura is still restless but that time away was the best thing for her and she is a dynamo. Jordan left behind athletics, concentrated on music and is also thriving. Your marriage has survived 29 years and the two of you are still best friends, regardless of debt, trials and the day to day battering of life. Bottom line? You have no idea what is coming and it can all change in a minute (a cliché is a cliché because it is true). So, enjoy the ride. All the planning and speculating is good and necessary but you have to be flexible enough to bob and weave when it doesn’t quite work out like you thought. And, more often than not, it does not work out like you planned. But, blessedly, it still works out.

Dear Jay (five years from now): So, you couldn’t stay under 200 pounds. Really?

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Find out more at http://ralphwaldoemerson.me

Trust 30: Entry Seven

2011-06-06T13:30:00.000-05:00

Dare to be bold by Matt Cheuvront

Our arts, our occupations, our marriages, our religion, we have not chosen, but society has chosen for us. We are parlour soldiers. We shun the rugged battle of fate, where strength is born. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Next to Resistance, rational thought is the artist or entrepreneurs worst enemy. Bad things happen when we employ rational thought, because rational thought comes from the ego. Instead, we want to work from the Self, that is, from instinct and intuition, from the unconscious.

A child has no trouble believing the unbelievable, nor does the genius or the madman. Its only you and I, with our big brains and our tiny hearts, who doubt and overthink and hesitate.” - Steven Pressfield, Do the Work

The idea of “being realistic” holds all of us back. From starting a business or quitting a job to dating someone who may not be our type or moving to a new place – getting “real” often means putting your dreams on hold.

Today, let’s take a step away from rational thought and dare to be bold. What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to accomplish but have been afraid to pursue? Write it down. Also write down the obstacles in your way of reaching your goal. Finally, write down a tangible plan to overcome each obstacle.

The only thing left is to, you know, actually go make it happen. What are you waiting for?

(Author: Matt Cheuvront)

I have spent 30 years striving, looking for the creative edge, working nights on special projects, pouring myself into the next thing that will get me noticed. Whether it was market forces, bad timing or the simple reason that my work wasn’t very good, “success” has been a vapor. Whatever the reasons, I can attest that it has not been for lack of effort, dreaming or desire.

And now I am tired.

When I am asked the one thing I have always wanted to accomplish but have been afraid to pursue, I have a new answer. I want to be content with where I am. To still write and create projects and not have the motivation be getting published or recognized, but to be satisfied with the ability to put down on paper what I see in my head. To get through my day fulfilled because of solid effort, not relying on the blessings of others for a sense of achievement. To enjoy my family and friends, taking great pleasure in a cigar and a quality bourbon shared on the porch with a side of conversation. To slow down and let things happen organically, not shaped and forced in a rush. To be present right now, not burning energy on what could have been or manipulating what happens next. To not be panicked when it is quiet. To develop fewer, but deeper, relationships. These are the things I want to accomplish.

Before it’s too late.

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Find out more at http://ralphwaldoemerson.me

Trust 30: Entry Six

2011-06-05T18:52:00.000-05:00

Come Alive by Jonathan Mead

Life wastes itself while we are preparing to live. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you had one week left to live, would you still be doing what you’re doing now? In what areas of your life are you preparing to live? Take them off your To Do list and add them to a To Stop list. Resolve to only do what makes you come alive.

Bonus: How can your goals improve the present and not keep you in a perpetual “always something better” spiral?

(Author: Jonathan Mead)

Responsibility. It is something that can create an annoying drag on dreams and goals. It is very easy to discuss and plan all the things I want to do and deserve to do and ruminate on what I was intended to do. But sometimes, paying bills and feeding kids and mowing the lawn gets in the way. And sometimes, lack of talent can crimp those plans as well. But there is something that I can do regardless of my responsibilities or aptitude and that is to love people. All it takes is effort and a certain degree of want-to and to follow through is to achieve the highest level of existence.

So If I had one week left to live, I’d quit work and shirk some of the responsibilities that tie me up but my main focus would be to shore up relationships and try to love as many people as I could. To spend all the time I had left investing in other people one last time. Frankly, that is something I can do now—whether I am over-, under- or unemployed, striving or cruising, rich or poor or trying to decide. I can’t think of a better way to improve my present (or anyone else's). Fortunately, there are a lot of people out there to love so it is a noble to-do list that I can, and will, tend to from now until then.

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Find out more at http://ralphwaldoemerson.me

Trust 30: Entry Five

2011-06-05T01:01:00.002-05:00

Travel by Chris Guillebeau

If we live truly, we shall see truly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Not everyone wants to travel the world, but most people can identify at least one place in the world they’d like to visit before they die. Where is that place for you, and what will you do to make sure you get there?

(Author: Chris Guillebeau)

Since I was young I have always been fascinated with Australia. I have no idea why. Maybe it's the accent of the natives or that the people are blonde, attractive, laid back and seem to enjoy themselves. Like California on steroids. I have visited many places around the globe but Australia has always been there, biding its time, waiting for me to figure out a way to visit. I currently have no plans to travel there and see no way that it will happen in the near future. But maybe after the kid's college debt is paid and a few too-long-ignored things are fixed around the house I can plan a trip. Practical so often rules the day. Maybe one day impractical will decide to take a trek and invite me along.

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Find out more at http://ralphwaldoemerson.me

Trust 30: Entry Four

2011-06-03T08:25:00.000-05:00

Post-it Question by Jenny Blake

That which each can do best, none but his Maker can teach him. Where is the master who could have taught Shakespeare? Where is the master who could have instructed Franklin, or Washington, or Bacon, or Newton? . . . Shakespeare will never be made by the study of Shakespeare. Do that which is assigned you, and you cannot hope too much or dare too much. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Identify one of your biggest challenges at the moment (ie I don’t feel passionate about my work) and turn it into a question (ie How can I do work I’m passionate about?) Write it on a post-it and put it up on your bathroom mirror or the back of your front door. After 48-hours, journal what answers came up for you and be sure to evaluate them.

Bonus: tweet or blog a photo of your post-it.

(Author: Jenny Blake)

How can I stay curious and continue to create—to continue “the habit of art” (Flannery O’Connor)—with no guarantee anyone will notice?

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Find out more at http://ralphwaldoemerson.me

Trust 30: Entry Three

2011-06-02T13:49:00.000-05:00

One Strong Belief by Buster Benson

It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude. - Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

The world is powered by passionate people, powerful ideas, and fearless action. What’s one strong belief you possess that isn’t shared by your closest friends or family? What inspires this belief, and what have you done to actively live it?

(Author: Buster Benson)

I am surrounded by people that share my strongest beliefs and I cannot think of one single thing I passionately believe that does not also line up with the passionate beliefs of my inner circle of relationships. I am referring to essential, core beliefs—of which there are less than a handful—ignoring nonessential, surface dogma of which there are many. And I am okay with that. Frankly, why would a person want anything less? There are enough negative people out there to mash your passions; I need to come home to the true believers.

When referring to strong beliefs, what are we talking about? Belief in self? Belief in a Higher Being? Belief in a governmental philosophy? Belief that I can accomplish more than I have been given the opportunity to accomplish? Belief that I am smarter than you think I am? Belief that I can fly? Belief that those blinking lights at night aren’t really stars but satellites that are monitoring my every move? If I can’t share what I am passionate about for fear of mocking or squelching, then I need to trade in my friends and family for a better set. I need to surround myself with folks that can laugh at crazy ideas and get enthusiastic about great ones. That can slow me down when caution is called for and can kick my butt when I just think caution is in play. That won’t get scared when I share my soul and can expect the same from me. If I have to hide anything, I need to find better friends. Life is too short (and humid) to wear a mask.

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Find out more at http://ralphwaldoemerson.me

Trust 30: Entry Two

2011-06-01T09:55:00.002-05:00

Liz Danzico – Today

Your genuine action will explain itself, and will explain your other genuine actions. Your conformity explains nothing. The force of character is cumulative. – Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

If ‘the voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tracks,’ then it is more genuine to be present today than to recount yesterdays. How would you describe today using only one sentence? Tell today’s sentence to one other person. Repeat each day.

(Author: Liz Danzico)

Today I plan to get better and I have an idea of how but I understand that my plans can change and that is okay as long as I get better.

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Find out more at http://ralphwaldoemerson.me

Trust 30: Entry One

2011-05-31T08:29:00.000-05:00

Gwen Bell – 15 Minutes to Live
We are afraid of truth, afraid of fortune, afraid of death, and afraid of each other. Our age yields no great and perfect persons. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
You just discovered you have fifteen minutes to live.
1. Set a timer for fifteen minutes. 
2. Write the story that has to be written.
(Author: Gwen Bell)

To whom it may concern:
Now that is a lame way to start the last thing I will ever write but I honestly don’t know who will read this so I am sending it out to whomever. I realized when I passed 50 that I was over halfway through my life. Little did I know that it was actually my 26th birthday that marked the mid point. Funny what we don’t know when we think we know it all. At 26 I was still convinced that life was run on a track in front of adoring crowds and well wishers. I was sure of what I was going to accomplish and had five and ten year goals written down and committed to memory. I was limber, lean and my energy levels were high, allowing me to stay focused and keep my expectations high.

Now I know that the race resembles an extreme trail run, most of my time spent looking down, dodging rocks and snakes, praying I don’t turn an ankle because I can’t afford the day off to recover. And the great throng of supporters stayed in the bleachers and didn’t follow me on the journey. Yes, I was blessed to have family and a few solid friends that yelled encouragement when I passed them or we crossed paths, and that cannot be measured. The five and ten year goals are a little fuzzy in my memory but that’s because they changed. A wife and kids altered those theoretical milestones, all replaced with real life situations where the payment was a smile or a hug or an “I love you” out of nowhere. Grace replaced accounting ledgers and I am finishing this race with zero disappointment.

It’s interesting that this is happening just as my youngest is taking off. All three kids will be fine, more than fine, great, and my wife is a lot tougher than she thinks. I’ll miss them if that is even possible in the next phase, and I know they’ll miss me, but I also know they are prepared to go on. Their story is my story. All they need to do is write some more chapters.

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Find out more at http://ralphwaldoemerson.me

Read on

2011-05-13T15:31:00.003-05:00

Story Engineering: Mastering the 6 Core Competencies of Successful Writing

By Larry Brooks

When I started this book, my expectations were low. I have read a number of “how to write” books and they start to take on a sameness, with the amount of quality, new information either buried or non-existent. I am very glad I worked past my prejudices and made the effort to give this book a chance. It did not disappoint.

As the title suggests, the book is based on six core competencies the author shows are a requirement in every successful story. Whether you are a writer who works from an outline or a writer who is more organic and lets the story come to you, he is convincing in his logic. I especially enjoyed the use of movies and screenplays, along with best selling fiction, as examples, making it clear that a story that “works” is not under the sole jurisdiction of the published novel. The detail for each competency is clear and easy to follow and the author’s enthusiasm for my unpublished manuscript—even though he hasn’t ever read it—was infectious. His cheerleading for the reader stopped just short of corny, but it made me want to write.

One thing he stressed time again was this was not a set of rules to squelch your creativity and beautiful words. The core competencies are used because they work. Skip one of the six and your story may still be readable, but it will not be publishable. He makes his case and I was convinced. This paragraph from the author helps sum up his concept:

That’s all this book really is. It’s a set of principles that help you get bad ideas, unprofessional habits, incomplete notions, and outdated techniques out of the way, allowing the best story you have in you to surface, while creating a benchmark for the best sentences you can bring to it.

BookSneeze® has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book for review.

A Book Review

2011-04-20T11:43:00.000-05:00

The Hole in Our Gospel

Richard Stearn

The Hole in Our Gospel is a two-fer. The first part is about Mr. Stearn’s transition from a successful corporate CEO of Lenox to leading World Vision, a Christian aid organization that battles worldwide poverty and injustice. Frankly, the first part was more interesting to me than the second. Something about the rhetoric bothered me when it moved into the latter pages, what I felt was the “Scolding and Tut-Tutting” section of the book. Initially, I assumed my annoyance was Spirit-led and that I should take my conviction like a man. But I then realized that, no, I was just annoyed that someone else was trying to guilt me into doing things their way and if I didn’t, well, shame on me. I have no reason to doubt that Mr. Stearn (and World Vision) are doing wonderful things across the globe. What I doubt is that Mr. Stearn has any idea what my church is doing to combat poverty in my home town and in the areas globally that we support through our missionaries. The broad brush of “shame on you, American church” was unfair and offensive. The book has merit and I would recommend it for the fascinating personal story of Mr. Stearn’s journey. Just know that the second part has the ability to inspire or disappoint.

BookSneeze® has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book for review.

Meh.

2011-02-24T15:53:00.001-05:00

I am sick and tired (and more than a little bit pained) of all the bickering in the world. Everyone is so assured of his or her truth that all there is left to do is yell, cast aspersions and be snarky. No one listens; everyone screams. And they are screaming even when they are calmly "stating the facts." It is so dispiriting. I would love a Pill of Ignorance® that could sweep through my brain and adjust my emotional state to "meh." Which could quickly lead to, "Look! A pony!” And I would run after it giggling like a schoolgirl…

One Year Ago Today...

2011-01-30T12:20:00.001-05:00

One year ago today, the band Vera performed their first public show at the Crowbar in Tampa, Florida. I was in attendance (drummer groupie) and videotaped their short set (they were the opener and were allowed to play a whopping 15 minutes—three songs). At the time, the management company overseeing Vera’s progress asked that I not post the videos because they had a marketing plan in place for the band so I was content to keep the videos private and just share them with friends and family.

That was then. This is now.

Although the band is no longer together (R.I.P.), I wanted to commemorate the short but promising career of the band by finally sharing the videos with the world (or at least the few people that this text will cross their path). Rewatching them today I am still impressed with how well they played considering it was their first live show as a band (and that it sounds pretty good even though I was videotaping on a small digital camcorder). I hope you enjoy this little bit of music history and remember what was, no matter how briefly their star got to shine...

Song One: Sound

Song Two: Second Song (It was never given a name and the fact that it was played second during this set meant that it was always referred to as “Second Song.”)

Song Three: Blue, Forever (Still my favorite song of theirs...)

Compare and Contrast

2010-12-03T16:15:00.000-05:00

There is a whole lot of genetics going on here...

I was scanning through the pictures my daughter took during Thanksgiving and started noticing something that had previously alluded me. I decided to conduct an experiment and see if I was the only one who noticed. Yes, these are photographs of William J. Colle II and William J. Colle III. I present to you Father and Son: One of These Things is JUST Like the Other.

I Have Returned

2010-11-01T15:59:00.000-05:00

Hope and I had an incredible eight days in northern California with my brother Kyle and his wife, Shannon. I posted a bunch of pictures on Facebook (go HERE) so check them out if you care to. I took advantage of the hours on the plane to get a kick-start on a story I have been working on for far too long and, frankly, that was a bit of a surprise. Now if I can just find someone who will fly me around for several hours every weekend I may finish the story. Here are a couple of pictures that didn't make it to Facebook:

This picture is of my brother and me, overwhelmed at a winery that looks like a castle. It was an emotional moment, captured wonderfully by my wife.

And here is the lovely photographer, posing dutifully in the lobby of The Carneros Inn, our lodgings in Napa. The entire resort was truly a Pottery Barn catalog come-to-life.

Thanks for visiting. More updates to come...

I Love Technology

2010-10-11T15:00:00.000-05:00

Technology is my digital friend. It has allowed me to follow through with an idea that I would not have been able to conceive five years ago (maybe even two years ago)—put some of my stories online in digital format for the entire world to see (and purchase and download and read and love). Starting today, I have made available two options, one full-length piece of fiction and the other a couple of short stories pulled together in one volume. They are electronic books only and are available for download at Amazon and Barnes and Nobles. The descriptions and links are below.

Back, Again:

“Back, Again” is the story of a man who spent his life doing right and, at 45, finds the results wanting. He makes a radical decision in response to his disillusionment and turns his back on his life-long faith, shirking Christianity and denying the existence of God. This isn’t brought on by tragedy or some earth-shattering event; it’s a sober decision based on doubts and disappointments. On the surface, the book deals with the ramifications of his decision and the toll it takes on long-established relationships, mainly with his wife, children and parents. The story also works on deeper levels. It’s a love story between Earl and Ellen. It’s a story of a man in search of himself. It’s a story of redemption.

[That is the official blurb, the one I put out there for agents, publishers and people I don’t know. The more personal explanation of this story is it is a fictional version of my life if I had made a few different decisions and followed through with some of the thoughts I have entertained. Yes, the names are different but that helps make it fiction, right?—no matter how thinly disguised. It is an alternate reality that could have—but did not—happen.]

Back, Again:

Amazon (US): http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0046A9SXA

Amazon (UK): https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0046A9SXA

Barnes & Noble (Nook): http://search.barnesandnoble.com/books/product.aspx?ean=2940011816376

Two Short Stories:

“Two Short Stories” by Jay Colle is … well, two short stories. Truth in advertising is alive and well. The first story, “Save Me, Black Jesus,” is a sober look at the prospect of dying told through the eyes of a patient in a hospital. The second story, “Oh, Tanner Baum,” is a humorous look at selecting a Christmas tree told through the eyes of a young boy. The stories are so far apart in tone and concept that they cannot see each other even if they use binoculars. Which is why it makes perfect sense to bundle them together. Seriously. Stop staring at me…

Two Short Stories:

Amazon (US): http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0046H9I9C

Amazon (UK): https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0046H9I9C

Barnes & Noble (Nook): http://search.barnesandnoble.com/books/product.aspx?ean=2940011819933

These are links to download the apps to read the e-books:

Kindle apps:

iPhone: http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=kcp_iphone_mkt_lnd?docId=1000301301

PC: http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=kcp_pc_mkt_lnd?docId=1000426311

Blackberry: http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000468551

Android:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/?&docId=165849822

Nook apps:

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/u/free-nook-apps/379002321/

Twenty Years

2010-09-08T15:40:00.000-05:00

Recently, I was sifting through some old VHS tapes in an effort to convert them over to DVDs. This has been a lengthy, laborious process since we have/had stacks of tapes dating back to the birth of our first child in 1986. (Our first video camera was so large and clunky it looked like it belonged in a television studio and I am surprised we burned so much tape considering the wear and tear on our shoulders. Yes, I said shoulders...) Throughout this process I have made several discoveries:

1. I have a lot of fodder for embarrassing wedding videos as my children marry,
2. We took an awful lot of video of our children as babies... just sitting. (Yet I still find it difficult to edit any of it in the transfer process...),
3. A lot of my friends are still married.

One of the tapes I discovered was a recording of a going away party for Hope and I from 1990. We were moving our young family from Central Florida back to Tallahassee and our core group of friends gathered all of us together for a proper send-off. Besides how young (and thin and hairy) we all looked (uhm, the previous parenthetical statement was aimed at the men ONLY), what jumped out to me was, out of the 13 couples who attended the party (including us), all but one of them are still together.

Twenty years later.

I have no idea why (other than some pretty strong spiritual foundations infused in all of the marriages... okay, that is probably the main reason) but it was nice to see the tape and have that epiphany. Congratulations to my friends. Stay strong. Keep on loving...

Back, Again...

2010-08-31T08:47:00.000-05:00

We have had a whirlwind month of August. In brief, Jordan decided to return to Ocean’s Edge School for a second year. It was not a rash decision although, to the casual observer, it seemed that way. He just felt like God placed it on his heart to follow the calling of another year to study and perform with OE’s incredible staff—and to do it now. His original intention was to give Vera a full, uninterrupted year to see how they fared in the rough and tumble music business. As the summer progressed, he sensed the change coming and, eventually, acted upon it. After explaining his reasoning to the guys in the band they were understanding and encouraging, although understandably disappointed. They spent last week in the studio recording some of the new songs they had written and performed at shows over the summer. All indications are the songs sound great and, hopefully, they will share them eventually. It's nice that his drumming for the band will have some shelf life.

So, this past Sunday we packed up the truck once again and sent Jordan southward. Hope and I are a little sad to see him go but are 100% behind his decision. And we cannot wait to see why God called him back to Ft. Lauderdale.

One more time!

2010-08-11T07:28:00.000-05:00

Ocean's Edge has released the latest video from the End Of Year CD recording for the Class of 2010. This is the only cover they performed and it is "With Everything" by Hillsong United. It was the showstopping last song at The Show as well. And, oh yeah, my son sings lead vocals... almost forgot to mention that. Enjoy! (And thank you, Hillsong, for writing such a powerful song...)

You can watch the wide screen version here.

The Cone of Silence

2010-08-02T21:06:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the lack of posts recently. I am following advice I (and pretty much everyone I know) received as a child: If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all. Well, to be truthful, I basically have not had anything to say, period. Good, bad or indifferent. But I will and soon. I will leave you with this picture. This is me with one of my good buddies, Queen Kara, discussing how we are going to rule our kingdom together. If I remember correctly there will be lots of stuffed animals and sweets. All in favor say "eye."

Eye.

I lied.

2010-07-14T15:26:00.000-05:00

I could not pass the chance to share this one with you. The author is "nazi" and his comment is short and to the point:

what the hell are you talking about?

SPAM. Speaking truth to power.

Okay, just one more...

2010-07-14T13:28:00.000-05:00

Sorry, but these SPAM comments are just too good to keep to myself. Remember, these are posted on my portfolio site—lots of pictures, few words.

All I can say is retain it up. This blog is really needed in a time when everybody just wants to talk about how many men and women someones cheated on their wife with. I imply, thanks for bringing intelligence back towards internet, its been sorely missed. Excellent stuff. Please maintain it coming!

As you continue through your week, remember to retain it up!

One more time...

2010-07-12T07:55:00.001-05:00

I know this is a fairly lame track to run down but this latest spam comment actually raised the level of robotic, civilian discourse several notches. Bear in mind these "comments" are being dropped on my portfolio site. Visuals only, very little text. Behold my first geriatric spam comment:

LOL is that what you young people would say in this cases? Hello there, i’m a 84 years old grandfather and I’ve just found this website in my browser history. My nephew used my laptop the last time he went here, I believe… he says LOL pretty often but I’ve started to undertand what it means only recently but he’s a good boy after all. Keep doing your best guys, Internet is a real blessing and you have no idea how lucky you are. Best wishes by a old man commenting for the first time

The Internet: Bridging the Generation Gap like no other technology known to man.

A Shout Out...

2010-06-24T08:57:00.000-05:00

The school Jordan attended, Ocean's Edge School, decided to record a live concert as the End of Year project for the class of 2010. Of the final five songs selected for the CD, Jordan was fortunate to have a song he wrote included in the mix. The video for "Image of You" was released today by the school and I am happy and proud to share it with you. He shares singing duties with one of his best friends Cameron Couchman. Hope and I were honored to be a part of the filming of the live show and I am excited that the video captured the song so well. Enjoy...

When Life Gives You Lemons...

2010-06-22T11:55:00.001-05:00

I don't care if this comment left on my blog is SPAM and was left by someone named wowgoldwizard, I will cherish it and accept it, convinced that someone has finally given me my due. I present to you "The Greatest Comment Ever Left on My Blog:"

Can I just say what a relief to find someone who actually knows what they're talking about on the internet. You definitely know how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More people need to read this and understand this side of the story. I cant believe you're not more popular because you definitely have the gift.

I may have to retire...

Parting Shot

2010-06-13T19:41:00.001-05:00

Jordan graduated this past weekend from Ocean's Edge School. It has been a long, short, happy, frustrating, enjoyable, blessed year for all concerned. Friday night was their end-of-year show and it was a very special night of music. Someone took hand held video of the final song and it is posted below. Yes, it is over nine minutes long but, in my opinion (and it is my blog), it is well worth a view. The fact that Jordan sings lead on it has absolutely nothing to do with this recommendation. Seriously. It doesn't. (Okay, maybe a little...)

Enjoy!

Blood, Sweat and...

2010-05-25T13:17:00.000-05:00

Last night I was standing in the back of a small, steamy bar on The Strip in Tallahassee, Florida, waiting for my youngest son and his band, Vera, to take their place on the tiny stage and play their 30 minute set.

And I was sweating.

It occurred to me how appropriate that was, perspiring and waiting to watch one of my kids do something. You probably think I am about to take off on some metaphorical rant about child-rearing and the “sweat of the brow” but that isn’t what this is about. I am referring to tangible, hat soaking, shirt sticking to your back, droplets breaking loose and rolling freely down legs and backsides sweat. I am also talking about interminable, mind-numbing, I have to quit checking my watch, I thought they were supposed to start 15 minutes ago waiting. Whether it was practices and games on the athletic field or “oh my gosh they forgot to turn the air on again in the auditorium” choir concerts, each child has taken me (please understand, this is “The Royal Me,” which includes my wife) into the cooker on a regular basis. I am sure that raising my kids in Florida has a lot to do with this (okay, it has everything to do with it), but sticky heat has been a constant in my quest to support, encourage and love the three children God allowed me to raise.

And I wouldn’t change a thing. From watching William endure August practices in full pads to Laura deciding to sit down at shortstop because it was too hot (and it was and I will never think less of her for that decision) to sweltering summer baseball games with Jordan—the misery of the moment eventually fades and what is left is a story or two about survival and an occasional victory. And, really, what is a little sweat in the Big Picture? It is why God prompted somebody to invent the hat and another sunscreen and yet another bottled water. And it is why I had to smile last night as I spotted all three of my kids (and Jul makes four) mingling, hugging and sweating in the bar after Vera finished their set. Their preparation has begun...

Go Lightly into the Night

2010-05-19T09:25:00.001-05:00

I had a colonoscopy yesterday. Not my first and I doubt it will be my last. In fact, as the doctor reviewed my folder right before the procedure (and the various results of my six previous visits), I suggested they create a "Frequent Probee" card that I could have punched and possibly get my tenth colonoscopy for free, or at least half price. The doctor did not immediately dismiss my idea, although he only offered a possible cut rate on the cost of the prep materials. I will take what I can get.

The reason I have endured so many of these procedures is my mother and her father both had colon cancer. My mom survived; my grandfather did not. Because of the family history, my siblings and I had to start this fun at age thirty and continue it every three (or five) years, depending on results and the mood of the physician. And every year my mom apologizes to me, losing sight of the fact that her ability to actually speak to me as a living person makes my small contribution to preventive medicine worthwhile.

But this year was different. I am 50 years old and I had to rebut her apology by reminding her that, because of my age, I would have been required to schedule a colonoscopy regardless of her. She is finally off the hook and I am glad to relieve her of one third of her burden. My brother and sister, both younger, are not that far behind me (See? I waited until the third graph to make some tacky jokes... I am slowly growing up), so she will be guilt free before she knows it.

And, FYI, I got a clean bill of health and don't have to come back for five years. I think the doctor got nervous about my punch card idea. I am guessing he wasn't serious about cutting me a deal and decided to keep me away for a while. Trust me, I won't forget Dr. TheMan. I won't forget...

Hawaii Happenings: Part Six

2010-05-12T08:46:00.000-05:00

The final installment! For metaphorical reasons, I wanted to end this series with our sunset cruise. It was remarkable for two reasons: 1) it was a beautiful night and a very relaxing two hours and 2) Kyle didn’t throw up. As noted before, my brother loves the water and all the potential activities it affords. The problem is his body betrays him. He brings new and rancid meanings to the term “going green” whenever he engages in any activity on the water. The reasons he agreed to join us for this excursion can be chalked up to being a team player and the faint hope that this time may be different. Alas, it wasn’t but we do appreciate his willingness to play along. Enjoy the evening displayed in pictures and thank you for putting up with these, admittedly, non-universally appealing posts. Aloha, ya'll!

Upon our arrival at the pier we discovered we had to ride

an inflatable raft to get to...

...the catamaran that was our main boat for the evening.

Kyle, full of confidence and bravado, climbing on to the boat.

It was the best he looked all night.

Sure, this is a picture of Tallulah and Shannon and the back of Hope's head,

but the real beauty here is Kyle, starting to turn.

Artsy shot (or, "Dang, why is everyone in shadows?")

Aunt Hope and Tallulah singing songs and enjoying the ride.

Our sunset.

And thus ends Hawaii Happenings...

Hawaii Happenings: Part Five

2010-05-11T10:17:00.000-05:00

With only a couple of more updates on the docket (I promised myself I would not drag this out and would do my best to complete it before Hope’s tan fades), in this installment I want to discuss food. My brother and I enjoy eating sushi (our stated goal for the week was to never eat anything that was cooked; we failed but we went down kicking and screaming--or at least with a good pout). My brother’s M.O. is to inform the waiter/waitress that he wants to give the sushi chef carte blanche (is it kosher to use French words when discussing Japanese food?) to prepare anything he/she wants--be creative--and Kyle always lets them know, “We aren’t afraid of anything.” Depending on the mood of the chef, this can be a delightful culinary adventure or a mediocre roll through... well, rolls. We were pretty lucky during our week on the Big Island. We had the opportunity to eat sushi three times (which was a pretty good average over seven days). We enjoyed one spot so much that we made a return trip for our farewell dinner before boarding a plane and flying for 11 hours. (Risky? Probably, but, really, it’s not like any of the dishes can be undercooked.) The following pictures show off some of the dishes we enjoyed (and I wish I could remember what they were but I can’t so you just have to be entertained by the visuals and not gain any raw seafood knowledge in the process). And to all the sushi chefs we tormented with that awful phrase, “yes, we want some more,” I salute you and raise my chopsticks in honor of your creativity and willingness to play along. Bon appetit! (Eh, there I go again...)

Brothers, preparing for battle.

A "sweet shrimp" which was blue and

"tasted like the ocean." I am referring to the piece lying

across the seaweed, not the fried shrimp head.

Uni (pureed sea urchin) and a quail egg

being introduced to Mr. Shrimp Head.

Goose foie gras sushi.

Yeah, surprised us too...

A smorgasbord of sea life, dead.

A variety of raw stuff, including uni and octopus.

Salmon roe with a quail egg which, when bitten,

shot the eggs all over the inside of your mouth. Incoming!

I am not sure about the type of fish but our instructions

from the chef were to "roll toward the center and grab some eggs."

Okay.

Tuna, chipotle dressing and tempura crumbles

(i.e. chef gettin' crazy!)

Shannon

Wasabi headache (amateur!)

A Short Commercial Message

2010-05-10T11:02:00.000-05:00

We take a short break from our Hawaiian Happenings series to give you an opportunity to vote. Vera, the band my son plays drums for, has an opportunity this week to make a little history and you can help. Read the following message and see if you can help them out. They pulled a tough week to be listed in the contest since Jack White's wife, Karen Elson, has her video in the contest as well but our rallying cry is "vote early and vote often."

From Vera:
Our video for "Sound" has been selected in the Top 5 this week for MTVU's "The Freshman," a voting contest online where viewers go online and vote, and at the end of the week the winner is put into rotation on MTVU.
This is an enormous opportunity for our band, and we need your help! The majority of the other bands we're going against have been doing this much longer than we have, and if you have kept up with us at all, you know Vera is very new for us... That being said, we need your help getting the word out as well.
You can vote an unlimited number of times per day, WITHOUT SIGNING UP! What does that mean? If you're willing, yes, you can just refresh the page after every vote and vote again!
If you guys help us win this by voting and sending this event to all of your friends we will be posting a brand new demo of our new song "Sing Out" online. We would truly love to share this song with all of you, so help us by voting and send this event to everyone! Maybe post this event or about the voting in your status. Anything would help!

VOTE HERE:
http://www.mtvu.com/category/music/the-freshmen/

Hawaii Happenings: Part Four

2010-05-07T10:56:00.002-05:00

We spent the week at the Hilton Waikoloa Village resort which is on the Kona (i.e. dry) side of the island, one part of a cluster of resort hotels, shops and restaurants on the northwest coast. The Hilton resort was massive and, frankly, spectacular. It reminded me of a Disney resort in that everything was manicured, clean and polished (and we could not pass a worker bee without them greeting us with "aloha"). There were several pools with waterfalls, hidden coves, water slides and jacuzzis. We had a choice of restaurants, their very own dolphin encounter and a lagoon where we could snorkel and swim with sea turtles, fish and eels. And we took advantage of everything offered. They even had a gym which I actually used three times during the week. (FYI: I was the only one to do that, securing my nerd status with the rest of the family; I prefer to think of it as conscientious, with a mind toward a healthy lifestyle and reducing my carbon footprint). Of course, nothing could top our favorite part: cabanas with staff walking around taking drink and food orders. Allysa, our hostess all week, was probably very sad to see us check out. The resort was spread out and it could be traversed on foot but they offered trams and boat rides as choices to navigate. We took advantage of all three options, depending on the time of day and our physical status. It was an incredible week. I am posting a few shots to give an overview. Enjoy...

Kyle and Tallulah

The Lagoon Tower pool

The view from our "porch."

Seen daily, accompanied by a cup of coffee and a Diet Coke.

Hope

The building in the background is where we stayed.

Our room is on that corner.

The Ocean Tower Pool

This is where we spent the bulk of our time.

(Yes, that is a water slide) Notice cabana's in the far background... home.

Hope and Shannon

One of the paths throughout the resort (most were paved!)

Kyle and lounge chair

The Lagoon
Sorry about the slant; I was probably laying down...

Hawaii Happenings: Part Three

2010-05-06T09:34:00.000-05:00

On Tuesday, the ladies went fishing. They chartered a boat for an eight hour sport fishing session, leaving the men to stay ashore with Tallulah. My brother is a strong person but his Achilles heal is the undulating surface of the sea. He loves to fish and go boating but it is not kind to him in any conceivable way. So we sent the ladies out with our blessings and wished them luck. And boy, did they find it. Hope got the first hit of the day and, after feeling inadequate and silly for having so much trouble turning the reel to get the fish to the boat, she ended up vindicated by hauling in a 43-pound Ono (a Wahoo for the non-Hawaiian anglers). Shannon also pulled in a 25-pound Ono and the other people on the boat hauled in three tuna. The captain was kind enough to slice up some of the fish and we enjoyed some fresh sashimi on the hotel porch that night (I just realized that we ate sushi four of the seven nights thereby almost fulfilling my decree that we would eat nothing that was cooked all week). Kyle, Miss T and I did nothing that day, selflessly contributing our energy vicariously to the ladies. What would they do without us? Catch big fish, apparently...

Shannon and Hope, Rod and Reel

April 27, 2010

Hope, when she realized "that fish is big!"

April 27, 2010

Hope and her COTD

April 27, 2010

Lt. Dan seems to be struggling a bit holding up his end...

Shannon and her COTD

April 27, 2010

Hawaii Happenings: Part Two

2010-05-05T09:33:00.001-05:00

After a day of acclimation (that seems like it should be upper case for some reason--Day of Acclimation!), we left the calm and secure confines of the resort and ventured out on Monday for an all day excursion to the volcano. We booked the trip through a local company that provided “an opportunity” to ride bikes around the top of the mouth and enjoy a picnic lunch in the process. Kyle and I signed up for bike riding and the girls opted to ride in the van and follow us around.

The day began at 7:45 am when we were picked up at the hotel by the company van (driven by Po [photo 01], the fake Hawaiian from Berkley who was full of authentic Hawaiian knowledge with exact Hawaiian pronunciation-- “The two types of Hawaiian lava differ in appearance but are chemically alike. Pahoehoe has a smoother and ropey surface where `a`a is jagged.”) and driven 2.5 hours to the other side of the island. We made several stops to break up the drive--Kona Coffee Company, a bakery for some donuts [photo 02]--but finally arrived at Hawai'i Volcanoes National Park around 11 am. The eight mile bike ride was fun [photo 03] (and easy--check out the folks we rode with before you get too impressed with our endeavor [photo 04]) and it was a unique way to circle the mouth of the volcano. The company drove us back to the resort the opposite way around the island so we were able to get a great overview of the size (big!) and diversity of The Big Island. Basically, it is half lava rock and half rain forest, a dry side and a wet side. By the end of the day we were more interested in engaging in some civilized dining than exploring other civilizations... but that is for another post.

[photo 01] Po, our driver and guide

Monday, April 26, 2010

"Ma-holla!"

[photo 02] Kyle with too many donuts

Monday, April 26, 2010

[photo 03] Brothers in the woods

Monday, April 26, 2010

(I let him win)

[photo 04] The bike team

Monday, April 26, 2010

Can you pick out the very serious biker?

Hope and Jay

Monday, April 26, 2010

Classic "Tourist Shot with Volcano Background"

Hawaii Happenings: Part One

2010-05-04T09:11:00.000-05:00

When the trip to Hawaii became reality, I soon realized that I had an unfortunate doctor’s appointment on the Tuesday after we returned (that would be today). I have to visit my dermatologist. The thought of walking into the doctor’s office with a fresh island burn all over my body made me queasy and I was afraid that the doc would cut on me out of spite. (If this thought crossed your mind--“Reschedule!”--then you have just proven you do not go to the dermatologist.) The anticipated appointment put me in a totally different category of vacationer than the rest of my fellow travelers--they worshiped the sun as I avoided it as much as possible. I lathered up twice per day with SPF 50 (using 100 on my face and ears), stayed under a cabana during pool time and always wore a t-shirt and hat (even in the cabana). I still got sun ( it is impossible to avoid unless I stayed inside all day but Hawaiian TV is not that great so that was out of the question) but I fared pretty well, considering. Of course, the true test comes this afternoon during the doctor’s visit but I am writing this in anticipation of success. I’ll let you know.

The Hawaiian Picture of the Day is in celebration of sunscreen and all of it’s blocking beauty. This is my brother asking the rhetorical question, “Is it worked in yet?”

Dr. Kyle Colle

April 26, 2010

Preparing to ride a bike around the volcano

Because you have been such a good audience, I will share another picture with you. Lets call it The Other Hawaiian Picture of the Day. This is me, in the cabana, reading a book, avoiding the sun. (For those interested in minutiae, in this picture I am reading The Girl Who Played With Fire by Stieg Larrson, the second in his trilogy of Swedish strangeness.)

Jay Colle

All Week, 2010

Sad to some, heaven to others...

A case of the Mondays...

2010-05-03T09:15:00.000-05:00

I have returned. The land of aloha treated us well (the word "aloha" apparently means 100 different things, reminiscent of the Italian "ciao." I think the closest word we have to that in English is "dude.") but we are very happy to be back stateside. The trip was ridiculously fun and I will post some pictures as I cull through them and begin the editing process. The down side of shooting digital is how indiscriminate and lax you can be with subject matter and self-editing. It will be best if I give them a once (or twice) over before I share. Until then I leave you with this shot of me at the volcano last Monday. I am sure the goddess Pele was not pleased with my lack of respect but, so far, she has not exacted any revenge. At least we didn't bring home any lava rocks...

Monday, April 26, 2010

OTG Redux

2010-04-21T10:01:00.001-05:00

This will be my last update for the next eleven days. I understand this may cause some consternation and heartburn to the twelve folks who read this blog and, for that, I apologize. I actually considered contacting you all personally but I realized that would break the illusion that I am catering to a larger audience than actually exists so I have opted to make this announcement publicly.

“What’s going on?”

Thank you for asking. My wife and I have been offered a chance to accompany my brother and his wife (and daughter--can’t forget Miss T) to Hawaii for a week. We said, “Yes.” Now, don’t hate (although it would be easy to cave in to your initial emotional response). We leave Saturday morning and will return next Sunday. Obviously, we are excited although, having never been there, we are basing the excitement on photos displayed on websites (thank you, A.P. Stylebook), other people’s personal anecdotes and fond memories of Hawaii Five-O (Zulu as Kono! Kam Fong as Chin Ho!).

Now we are ready to make our own memories. My typical M.O. for a trip is to document with daily updates to this blog and whatever other social media outlet I can abuse to keep folks that are interested up-to-date. But not this time. I have decided to go off the grid, relax, read, enjoy my wife and hosts and not deal with the pressure of updates until I come home. All I am taking is my camera and some books (I am still e-reader poor) and if I feel compelled to write, I will embrace my inner Luddite and use a pen and a notebook. I am not even going to take my laptop. (Okay, I admit my hands were shaking when I typed that last sentence but I will carry through with my plan no matter the physical reaction to the separation.) I pray it will be as refreshing and mind-clearing as I anticipate.

“You said you’re leaving Saturday. Why are you posting this today?”

I am so proud of my perceptive audience. Tomorrow we are going to Orlando to watch Vera play in the Bonded Records showcase at The Social in Orlando. It is part of the Florida Music Festival being held this weekend. In fact, Vera has a very busy weekend (see the links below) and, if you are in the Central Florida area, you should try to see them play. Sunday night is free, by the way, if that helps (and it should--I know my audience). Alas, we will be returning to Tallahassee on Friday to prepare for our trip but we’re thankful to get to see them perform on Thursday.

Now you know. Thanks for stopping by...

Vera’s Weekend Schedule:
Thursday Night: http://www.reverbnation.com/artist/index/weareVERA#/show/2099220
Friday Night: http://www.floridamusicfestival.com/film/fmf_indie_film_jam_2010/
Sunday Night: http://www.vimeo.com/11086902

A Thousand Words (Implied)

2010-04-19T12:43:00.001-05:00

Jordan, Hard Rock Cafe, April 18, 2010

Vera played this past weekend at the Hard Rock in Orlando as part of the semi-finals for the Ambassadors of Rock Battle of the Bands. They won last night and play again this coming Sunday, facing off against the other two victorious semi-finalists. The winner moves on. I say all that just so I can have an excuse to post this picture of Jordan, preparing for the sound check last night. His friend Erik took the picture from backstage. I realize it was just a quick phone capture but, man, it captured so much. The waiting, the anticipation, the spotlight, the empty venue, the soon to be frantic feet curled around the stool... Maybe it is just me but I wanted to share just in case it wasn't. Enjoy...

Ode to Hope

2010-04-09T09:01:00.001-05:00

I saw her one morning at church and vowed to learn her name. A year later we met. One week later we went on our first date. What jumped out at me that night was how perfectly our hands fit together. Three months later we were engaged. Eleven months after our first date we were married. That is the first picture.

10,220 days have passed.

The kids are moved out so we had to adjust to the quiet. She finally succumbed to glasses and we had to adjust our kissing angles. We’ve lost friends and family members so we had to adjust our relationships. We are more forgetful so we had to adjust to lists. But the hands still fit together perfectly, no adjustment there. The smiles are coming from a deeper place, the joy is earned. That is the second picture.

April 10. Happy anniversary, Hope. Thanks for saying yes (and grabbing my hand).

Day in the Life: My Sketchbook, Round Twelve

2010-04-08T09:15:00.000-05:00

Once more, into the church sketchbook breach. This one is from one month later and we are still in 1 Corinthians. (Yes, our church goes through the Bible verse-by-verse, we are not in a hurry.) This spread covers several teaching sessions from September 20 through October 11 but not everything on the page synches with what was being espoused from the pulpit. The robot is back, there is reference to a worship song (Hillsong!) and God is a black man which makes my Visual of Controversy even more controversial. Excuse me, is that one guy hugging a missile or a tube of lipstick? So much to see, so little that makes sense...

September 20 -October 11, 2009

(click on the art to see it gigantic on your screen!)

Day in the Life: My Sketchbook, Round Eleven

2010-04-07T10:38:00.000-05:00

Today we are delving into a whole 'nother area of my sketchbook collection: Church Notes Edition. Yes, I have separate sketchbooks for taking notes in church (doesn't everyone?). This revelation (note my use of spiritual jargon to make a point or at least allude to deeper spiritual things) may help you understand why my wife has learned to have a love/hate relationship with all the "little books" laying around the house. They are legion (there I go again—I just can't help myself!). Moving on...

This first example is from last August and our pastor was teaching from 1 Corinthians. Combine my deep insights into chapter seven with robots, levels and rough sketch ideas for a ~~Halloween~~ Hallelujah Harvest tract ("Sanctified Sweets or Jujubes for Jesus") and it's a smorgasbord of wackiness (which, sadly, is an accurate, visual display of my brain on a daily basis). I'm not sure why I keep posting this stuff. I don't have that many friends and this can't be helping but, regardless, I may post one more tomorrow. And in case you are wondering, yes, I do listen while I doodle in my book. Actually, I listen better when I doodle (which could be faulty wiring but Mike Holmes has not returned my call).

Coming Friday: A Very Special Post (hint: my 28th wedding anniversary is Saturday)

August 26, 2009

(click on the art to see it gigantic on your screen!)

Monday, Monday

2010-04-05T09:10:00.001-05:00

A full, wearying weekend is behind me and this morning has been a struggle BUT! the weekend was worth it. My parents were visiting for the weekend and, with Jordan home for his spring break from school, the entire family was able to eat, visit, eat and eat (a little more) as a unit. It was nice having the nuclear family intact for a few days.

This is a snapshot from the weekend, my kids preparing to eat seafood on Saturday afternoon, enjoying their Easter baskets prepared by mom (and decorated by dad—yes, that is a rabbit with drum sticks on Jordan's bag; good guess!). William, his wife Jul, Jordan and Laura... my crew.

Unfoolish Words For April First

2010-04-01T07:17:00.000-05:00

Is there anyone who can explain God?
Anyone smart enough to tell Him what to do?
Anyone who has done Him such a huge favor that

God has to ask His advice?

Everything comes from Him;
Everything happens through Him;
Everything ends up in Him.
Always glory! Always praise!
Yes. Yes. Yes.
[Romans 11:34-36: The Message]

Vera Video has its Debut Today

2010-03-30T08:50:00.002-05:00

Vera is the band that my youngest son, Jordan, plays drums for and their first professionally produced video hit the digital streets today. Please check it out and spread the word. It is a very cool video and I think you will enjoy it (and just because I am The Dad does not make me wrong!).

http://www.myspace.com/wearevera

Day in the Life: My Sketchbook, Round Ten

2010-03-25T11:16:00.000-05:00

Let's clean our palate from yesterday's entry, shall we? To help scrub our subconscious I will stay with 2004, January 5th to be precise. Whenever I feel down, I can't help but get peppy again when I hang out with Christian Man and Dogma (even if the one drawing is a rather funkified version of CM... not sure what was going on there. Maybe he was on the South Beach Diet at the time?). And do not ask me to explain the spitting gorilla. I just won't do it. Enjoy the doodles and check out much more from CM&D at their Web site.

January 5, 2004
(click on the art to see it gigantic on your screen!)

Day in the Life: My Sketchbook, Round Nine

2010-03-24T11:39:00.000-05:00

Posted without comment.

Fan Boy Update (or is that Fan Dad?)

2010-03-23T11:05:00.000-05:00

Bear with me as I tout a big event that is coming up next week (at least it is big for my family and, especially, my youngest son). As most of you know, Jordan is the drummer in Vera, a band that is slowly breaking on to the surface of the music world. On March 30 they will debut their first music video and today they posted a clip as a teaser. The best version is at Reverb Nation and you can find it HERE. Keep your eyes pealed for future updates and I will be sure and let everyone know when the video hits iTunes next week.

Thank you for your indulgence with my foray into marketing. You may now return to your regularly scheduled lives...

Vera

Minor Thoughts on Health Care

2010-03-22T10:51:00.000-05:00

My biggest disappointment with the recently passed health care legislation has nothing to do with our governments attempt to cover the uninsured and help the folks out that struggle to be covered (and, subsequently, help the medical community who never turns away anyone in need, regardless of the cost or the potential litigation if something goes wrong during the free procedures). We have had a health care crisis in this country for a while and we desperately needed to address it. My disappointment is in the outcome. When the “smartest guys in the room” got together to take on this issue, this is the best they could do? Really? Did we have to layer on all of this debt? Was that really the only solution? I heard a lot of different ideas throughout the debate and this is what we ended up with?

Of course, there is so much we don’t know about how this will work (and that is another problem). The process was murky at best, purposefully clandestine at worst. It may turn out to be a raging success; arguments are persuasive both for and against that outcome. But there are enough people on both sides of the political aisle that have grave concerns about what this is going to cost the American people for years to come (and remember, the government is using our money to fund this (it’s called taxes—yours, mine, almost everyone's); it’s not coming from anywhere else... it can’t, there is no “anywhere else” for it to come from). Yes, there are positives in this legislation, the intentions of most in this process, I want to believe, are magnanimous with a strong desire to help folks in need. But the potential negatives are staggering and frightening. Where will we end up as a country (as individuals), regardless of intentions? Does anyone really know? What will be the real costs, monetarily as well as in other aspects of our lives? And will it be worth it? Time will tell.

Until the end game is played out and we discover what this will truly cost us, I choose to think about the single mother in my home group who is strapped and cannot afford health insurance but is finally free from the abusive relationship she endured for too long. Or my kids who are just starting out in their careers and how this may help them get their feet on the ground. But I will temper that with thoughts of friends who own small businesses and of family members who toil in the medical field. Who gets help and who gets hurt? The scales are rarely balanced which makes all decisions harder (and personal). I will continue to pray for justice and love and that trying to apply that to some doesn’t cripple the rest of us in the process.

Day in the Life: My Sketchbook, Round Eight

2010-03-18T11:25:00.000-05:00

Today will mark the last sketchbook entry for a while. It was fun while it lasted but all good things must come to an end (unlike cliches). And we return to the present (sort of... it's from January of this year which is not technically the present but it is closer to the present than the previous entries. Hmmm... maybe I should just say The Recent Past... wait a minute... am I really writing this as I think it? How embarrassing!) This page is choke full of goodies. Early sketches for The Literacy League logo for DOE, ideas for bus signs and a giant dollar sign for no apparent reason whatsoever. Drink deep, my children. Drink deep and full...

The Recent Past, 2010
(click on the art to see it gigantic on your screen!)

Day in the Life: My Sketchbook, Round Seven

2010-03-17T09:31:00.001-05:00

Today we take one more trip back to 1992. This entry is an example of my note taking. I tend to latch on to a theme from a teaching and elaborate visually. I'm sure I miss a lot of deep truths that are shared after I find my theme but I have had to make peace with that part of my wiring. For those of you who cannot read my writing (yes, that is a common complaint) the left side of the page says the following:

What I see... (and where I want to be; I want to do; I need)
versus
What I know (and my book knowledge; my experiences; my ideas)
versus
Faith (trusting what I don’t know and can’t see and knowing that it’s best)
[NOTE: the "no brain" graphic is my "thinks too much" reminder]

The two faces have nothing to do with the words, although they could be pondering the Deep Thoughts®...

A Really Random Day, 1992
(click on the art to see it gigantic on your screen!)

Day in the Life: My Sketchbook, Round Six

2010-03-15T13:03:00.001-05:00

Today we move forward to 2005, specifically the last week of April and the first week of May. How do I know this? Because I was in the midst of an experiment, writing and drawing a short entry every day of the week and haphazardly filling a giant sketch book someone had given me as a gift. These pages were near the end but they are fascinating to me because of the entries. I did not know it at the time but this was one crazy, significant string of days. Some of the issues covered were my grandmother's 100th birthday, taking my daughter to get her passport application for her first trip abroad (Peru) and a literary agent requesting the full manuscript for my first novel. You may not believe me but I picked this page at random out of the big book because I liked the way it looked. It wasn't until after I scanned the page that I read it (to make sure there was nothing unseemly mentioned) and discovered all the amazing entries. Amazing for me. You? Probably not so much. But let me know if you were moved...

April 26 - May 7, 1992
(click on the art to see it gigantic on your screen!)

Day in the Life: My Sketchbook, Round Five

2010-03-12T10:49:00.001-05:00

Once more into the 1992 breach! This one is particularly odd and I refuse to give any hints as to what is happening here (as if I actually know!). I am leaving this one solely in your hands. Click it, study it and tell me in the comments what the heck I was thinking (if anything). Enjoy...

Yet Another Random Day, 1992
(click on the art to see it gigantic on your screen!)

Day in the Life: My Sketchbook, Round Four

2010-03-11T09:39:00.001-05:00

Today there are faces. Always faces. I probably have drawn more faces in my sketchbooks than any other thing. The source material is readily available, whether from real life or on the printed page. My favorite thing to do is look at old high school yearbooks and find inspiration from another time (and with no fear of being caught by the model). I believe these are from an old yearbook (1950's?) from a high school in Alabama that someone found at a garage sale and brought in to work. Wonderful material and almost endless options. Most of these made it into my self-published book, Ironing Naked, so they would be considered old favorites. BTW: If you see your mom or dad here, please don't tell them.

Since I already told you what I was thinking, tell me in the comments what they are thinking. Cartoon conversations as we hurtle toward Friday. Enjoy...

Another Random Day, 1992
(click on the art to see it gigantic on your screen!)

Day in the Life: My Sketchbook, Round Three

2010-03-10T09:53:00.000-05:00

I am staying in 1993, once again, for today's post. It does seem like a long time ago and, for me, seeing some of these doodles bring back a lot of memories. Admittedly, some are not all that positive but—if you'll allow me to get philosophical for a sentence or two—they are all part of my journey. The positive and the negative combine to forge who I have become (good, bad or ugly). And that is the case for everyone (yes, you too). We deal with every situation different and, hopefully, we get better at absorbing the blows. That may be why I keep all of these notebooks, as a reminder of all that has come before (although my wife may argue it is more of a compulsive hatred for throwing anything away).

Today, the reasons do not matter. What is important is that you look over this entry, study it and tell me what you see. Answer the question, "What the heck were you thinking?"

And, once again, good luck with that.

Some Random Day, 1992
(click on the art to see it gigantic on your screen!)

Day in the Life: My Sketchbook, Round Two

2010-03-09T10:56:00.000-05:00

Well, yesterday was fun, wasn't it? Instead of subjecting you to another sketchbook page from the present, I thought it would be interesting to dig into the past and drop some extreme sketchbook love on you. Today (and possibly the next few days, depending on response--pressure!) will come at you from 1992. Look it over, study it and then try to interpret what I was thinking/working on when I laid down these lines. Leave your thoughts/guesses/hypotheses in the comments.

And, uhm, good luck with that...

November, 1992
(click on the art to see it gigantic on your screen!)

Day in the Life: My Sketchbook

2010-03-08T11:30:00.002-05:00

October, 2009
(click on the art to see it gigantic on your screen!)

Vera Post

2010-02-23T17:24:00.003-05:00

Vera, rockin' the Club Downunder.

(http://www.myspace.com/wearevera)

And, yes, I am pimping my son's band. Deal with it.

In fact, here's another picture of the awesome drummer:

\nn/

Friday Feature

2010-02-12T08:11:00.007-05:00

Daily Detritus ended up being offered only once this week so I may have to start calling it (Not Quite) Daily Detritus from now on. It shall return! I don't want all those fans to have yet another disappointing week (at least because of me!). Stay tuned...

For today, I direct you to a strip from Christian Man & Dogma. Enjoy this and leave a comment if it hits home...

Click HERE.

Daily Detritus: Day Thirteen

2010-02-08T11:34:00.001-05:00

The huddle of humans gathered near the large oak tree, located on the east side of the building. Their smoke break was allowed but regimented, exactly fifteen minutes, so the conversation was minimal between puffs and drags. Joey mindlessly toed a pile of leaves near the base of the tree, hoping to get two cigarettes in before having to head back to his cubicle. His boot nudged something hard and he pushed away the leaves to discover the rear of a small, blue, toy car sticking out of the dirt. He leaned down, grabbed it and pushed it side to side until it was free.

He held it up, brushed off the excess dirt and flipped open the driver’s side door with his thumb.

“A Gran Torino.”

Joey looked over at Peggy, surprised at her knowledge. “How do you know that?”

“I used to own one, back in the day.” She chuckled and held her hand out, wordlessly asking to get a closer look at the car. Joey gave it to her and asked, “How long did you have it?”

“A couple of years.” She held the toy with two fingers and turned it, inspecting all sides as she pulled a draw on her cigarette. “I wrecked it.”

Joey waited a few seconds for an explanation but grew impatient. “So what happened?”

Peggy rubbed her cigarette into the sand in the large concrete ash tray, looked at Joey and said, “Now that’s a funny story...”

{This story isn't complete! Continue the narrative in the comments by adding on to the previous comment. Come back as often as you want and see where the story has traveled. Go! It’s your turn...}

Daily Detritus: Day Twelve

2010-02-05T10:41:00.002-05:00

Sal was late. Very late. And he could not have picked a worse morning to be late, even if he had sat down and given deep thought to options for a worst morning to be late. “This is bad, so bad.”

He was race walking, dodging others on the sidewalk, pirouetting, wishing for teleportation powers, cursing all of humanity that stood between him and the interview. “Excuse me.... sorry... excuse me...” So many people, all of them obstacles. This city had way too many occupants. “Excuse me..”

“Three more blocks, three more blocks...” Counting down the distance did not help, at least that he could tell—his mind didn’t really need something else to dwell on—but he kept repeating his progress, unable to stop. The apologies to his fellow citizens were rolling out unconsciously with no meaning attached. “Sorry... pardon me...”

“Two more blocks, two more blocks, two more blocks...” He was not sure how he was going to explain his tardiness but he had a few things going for him in the interview. He knew someone in the firm and they had provided a generous reference to Human Resources. That had helped him get the coveted face-to-face with the managing partner. The other chit in his favor was he looked good. His suit was impeccable, his shoes shined and his hair had come together that morning as never before. The cool morning was working in his favor, keeping the sweat to a minimum and his do in place.

“One block to go, one block to go...” And he was there, standing at the front door, taking a moment to gather himself mentally and check his reflection in the mirrored door before stepping into the lobby. “You can do this,” he informed himself. “Deep breath. Clear head.”

It was a little sound, a short “pop” that normally would not have penetrated his conscious, but for some reason it did. He turned, a confused look on his face, trying to figure out why he had gotten distracted. There was no one behind him, at least no one standing still, and there was nothing out of the ordinary that should have caused the interference in his psyche. As he turned to enter the building he glanced down. And he stopped. And he almost cried.

A jagged line of red goo was splashed across his left pants leg. He quickly looked back and saw the ketchup packet on the sidewalk, empty, dirty and mocking. “You’re late,” it said. “One door to go, one door to go...”

{This story isn't complete! Continue the narrative in the comments by adding on to the previous comment. Come back as often as you want and see where the story has traveled. Go! It’s your turn...}

Daily Detritus: Day Eleven

2010-02-04T09:11:00.002-05:00

“—and then we will talk to a woman who takes care of over 70 cats—”

“—just try and use your old paper towels to clean up this mess—”

“—Williams for the three... and it’s good and that gives the—”

Tweeeeeeeeeet. Tweeeeeeet.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Jillian turned up the volume on the television to try and drown out the whistle sounds coming from upstairs.

“—and see this right here? This is a load bearing wall and it is improperly—”

Tweeeeeeeeeet. Tweeeeeeet. Tweeeeeeet.

“That old bat is going to drive me nuts with that stupid whistle! Whose idea was that anyway?” Jillian knew the answer. She was the one who came up with the clever plan to give her grandmother the whistle so she could signal her when she needed something. What Jillian never imagined was that her grandmother would need something every five minutes and that the house would end up sounding like a basketball game.

She sat for a few minutes, hoping that her grandmother would give up but she knew that was not going to transpire. It never did.

Tweeeeeeeeeet. Tweeeeeeet.

Jillian shut off the television and hoisted herself up from her chair. “How much longer is she going to hang on?” she wondered. “I’m not sure how much more of this I can take.”

As she walked up the stairs an idea began forming. With each step it gained clarity and made more sense. When she arrived at the top landing she knew it could work. But did she have the guts to follow through?

Tweeeeeeeeeet.

“I’m coming, Gran.” Yes, she did.

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Daily Detritus: Day Ten

2010-02-03T10:45:00.001-05:00

Monica closed her bedroom door and slowly, quietly, slid the lock in place. She turned, leaned back against the door and closed her eyes. It had been an awful day and she needed a few minutes to collect herself before dinner. She inhaled a lung filling amount of air, held it for the count of twenty and then slowly let it escape her pursed lips. The tears followed.

She wiped her eyes and walked to her bed, sat down and opened the drawer of her night stand. Monica cherished the small book. It was the one place she could be honest and unashamed with no fear of reprisal. She fumbled with the tiny lock, using a finger nail to spin the three numbers to their proper places. With pen in hand she opened the cover and stopped at a flash of pink on the front page. It was a small note stuck in the middle of the inside front cover and her breathing went shallow knowing she had not left it there.

The note was written hastily, but legible, and it stated, “You should be ashamed of yourself. And you will be. Go to www.monicasdiary.com to see what everyone else is reading.”

{This story isn't complete! Continue the narrative in the comments by adding on to the previous comment. Come back as often as you want and see where the story has traveled. Go! It’s your turn...}

Daily Detritus: Day Nine

2010-02-02T10:03:00.001-05:00

Pam’s mother walked to the pantry and, after a few seconds of rummaging around, pulled together a startling potpourri of snacks. Most were bags of chips, crackers and nuts with very little content, just enough to keep them around.

“Mom, do you ever throw anything away?”

“Sure I do, when the bags get empty.” She deposited the pile on the kitchen counter and began sorting. “Why would I do it any sooner? That would be wasteful.”

Pam could only shake her head in recognition. She was so much like her mom that the answer to her previous question was actually redundant. She sat quietly as her mom unclipped bags and emptied their contents on a platter, creating a dry, dusty, stale appetizer assortment, supposedly for her to enjoy.

“Come sit at the table with me. Those chairs at the bar are too uncomfortable.” Her mom placed the platter between them, sat and lifted her wine glass in a toast. “To survival. To family. To friends.”

She took a small sip, set the glass down and looked Pam in the eyes and asked, “Now, what’s up?”

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Daily Detritus: Day Eight

2010-02-01T09:44:00.002-05:00

“Good grief it's loud in here.” Cliff looked around, the club swimming with folks trying to engage by talking, yelling, over the sound system. “No way you can hook up with this noise.”

He turned back to the bar, grateful he had secured a stool but also despondent by the knowledge he had been hanging out at the bar since it opened. He took a pull on his beer and set the bottle down, careful to place it directly on the water ring it had formed.

“Hey.” He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned slowly, not wanting to seem eager to fight or converse, whichever was next. His eyes met the soft stare of Nicole Blanton, former friend, former human.

“Nicole?”

She leaned in so he could her her say, “Yep.” She just smiled, her face or voice offering nothing else.

“But, you died!” Cliff was trying to process through the beer haze but his mind was not currently a well oiled machine.

“Did I?” And she laughed.

“Well, yeah... I mean, I went to your funeral!”

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Vera's First Show

2010-01-30T23:57:00.004-05:00

Hope and I traveled to Tampa this Saturday to watch Vera play their first show at the Crowbar in Ybor City. They were the unadvertised opening act and were only given 15 minutes but my totally based opinion is they killed those three songs. The were well received by the crowd and it was a great way to get their feet wet in a live venue. As Will said from the stage, "It's our first show but it's also the best show we've ever played!" And, yes, I video taped the entire show. More to come...

The members of Vera outside the Crowbar before going on:
Calen (Management), Erich (keyboards), Jordan (drums),
Will (guitar/vocals), Rob (bass) and Patrick (guitar).

Daily Detritus: Day Seven

2010-01-29T09:22:00.003-05:00

Daryl pulled on the drawer handles, yanking the wooden receptacle past an obstruction that made it stick halfway. His father had passed away three weeks earlier and he was just now getting around to clearing out the house. The closets were easy, he didn’t own much, but now he needed to go through the top dresser drawer, a repository of his dad in symbols.

He and his sister had always been curious about that top drawer. While the rest of the dresser held the usual—t-shirts, underwear, shorts, socks—the top drawer seemed to be the catch-all for everything else. He remembered his mom constantly harping on his dad to clean it out, to throw away that “junk,” to make room for... more junk. And now it was his turn to grant his long gone mother’s wishes.

It was full. He could barely get the drawer pulled out far enough to look inside without some of the contents dropping off the side. At first glance it was a mess, a hodgepodge of papers, cards and trinkets, randomly shoved in the space, probably to deal with later. But with no one around to berate him into cleaning it out, his dad just added to the menagerie.

Daryl started pulling the papers from the top layer, mainly old birthday cards and letters, and he tried to focus on the task at hand—to clean the entire drawer—and did not stop to read their contents; he could do that later. He quickly pealed back several layers, dropping them in the brown grocery bag at his feet, and felt he was making good headway. This was going to be easier than he had anticipated.

Then he spotted a small box in the right, front corner. He knew right away what was inside and he wasn’t sure he wanted to look. But he knew he would. He took a deep, cleansing breath and pulled back the lid. Inside were all of his dad’s tie clips. There were at least twenty of varying shapes and sizes. Daryl pushed them around with his finger, reviewing the contents and smiled.

His dad always wore a tie. It didn’t matter the time of day or the state of the weather, he felt a true gentleman was always more presentable in a necktie and he considered himself to be a gentleman. It wasn’t until Daryl’s mom died that he wore them less and less. Daryl chuckled. “Maybe mom was the one he was trying to impress all along.”

He picked up one of the tie clips and held it up for examination. “I think he wore this one at my wedding,” Daryl mused. “Odd how I remember things like that.” He picked up another one and tried to lock in on a time and place to associate it with, but he couldn’t raise up a memory. He fished around in the box and spotted one of his dad’s favorites, a black and gold rectangle that he always felt made him look a little more classy. Daryl leaned forward, resting his arms on the front of the drawer, turning the tie clip over in his hands. “I’m pretty sure he had this one on the day he got arrested...”

{This story isn't complete! Continue the narrative in the comments by adding on to the previous comment. Come back as often as you want and see where the story has traveled. Go! It’s your turn...}

Daily Detritus: Day Six

2010-01-28T10:18:00.002-05:00

Jimmy turned the page of the magazine, adjusted his glasses and scanned the text, vaguely hoping for something of interest to dig into. He was not disappointed that nothing piqued his interest; he would rather feign reading and let his mind rest. The last two weeks had been a drain both mentally and physically and he cherished a rare chance to sit and do nothing. It wasn’t long before his eyes gave way to his body and slowly closed, his hands gradually resting on top of the magazine in his lap. Sleep may have been an intruder but it was not asked to leave.

“Jimmy.” The voice was in the distance, barely registering, but unfortunately cutting into his rest.

“Jimmy, are you awake?” A little louder but still not enough to respond.

“Jimmy...Jimmy. Are you awake?” He wanted to answer “obviously not since I am not responding” but couldn’t muster the strength.

Jimmy!” The voice was more urgent and accompanied by a shove to his shoulder. He opened one eye, slightly, and saw an out-of-focus mass, somewhat shaped like his wife.

“What?” he whispered.

“What, indeed!” She shoved something toward him, quick enough to make him flinch. He was slowly gaining consciousness, although the object in her hand was too close to his face to allow him to get it in focus.

“What is your problem?” he croaked, trying to regain his senses and his full voice. “What is that?”

“No, that’s my question.” She stood to her full height and defiantly placed one hand on her hip, elbow out, a small bar of hotel soap displayed in the other hand which she centered in front of her chest. “Where did this come from?” Her entire body and soul asked that question.

Jimmy was now fully awake. “I have no idea, Beth.” It was a weak response, he knew that, but it was a stop gap, something to throw out there to slow her down until he could form a better defense.

“You’re going to have to do better than that.” She was not going to move, that was obvious. “I’m waiting.”

{This story isn't complete! Continue the narrative in the comments by adding on to the previous comment. Come back as often as you want and see where the story has traveled. Go! It’s your turn...}

Daily Detritus: Day Five

2010-01-27T08:49:00.003-05:00

“Hey, watch this.” Wade clicked on his book light and pointed it toward his bedroom wall, the one directly over his cousin Drew’s bed. He put one hand in front of the glow and eventually centered the created shadow in the middle of the light beam. Contorting his hand, he was able to create something that resembled a rabbit and both boy’s laughed as he moved it up and down like it was bounding across the room.

“Do something else.” Drew’s request was followed by a weak attempt at an alligator head but, with some slight adjustments, he was able to make the mouth open and shut using his thumb as the bottom jaw. The boy’s got another chuckle and then tried to decide what to create next. Wade’s mom had insisted they go to bed way too early, at least for a Friday night, and neither boy was near ready for sleep.

“I’ve got an idea,” Wade announced. “Watch this.” He manipulated his fingers to create what looked like a “C” and then poked his middle finger down just enough to resemble a tooth. He moved his fingers up and down in a chomping motion and added the requisite sound effects. He slowly lowered the light source and his hand toward Drew, gnashing and biting, growling and moaning until he was right on top of Drew’s head, which was now hidden under a comforter but shaking as Drew laughed and feigned fear.

With one final bite, Wade’s shadow hand encircled Drew’s head and howled in triumph. As Wade’s monster noises died down, he tried to coax Drew from under the covers.

“C’mon, man, the monster has completed his reign of terror.” Drew’s bed wasn’t moving. No laughter, no giggling, not even a snore. “Drew! C’mon, you can come out now, the monster is gone.” His request was met with silence.

Wade got out of bed and took two steps to quickly cross the space between their beds and jumped, landing on top of Drew. As Wade bounced off the mattress and careened into the wall he couldn’t believe he had missed Drew on his flop. He reached up and yanked the comforter down and saw nothing but a pillow.

Drew was gone.

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Daily Detritus: Day Four

2010-01-26T08:38:00.003-05:00

Stanley looked up from his lunch and stared at the station wagon disappearing around the bend of County Road 12. A blur, then tail lights. Here, then gone.

“Where do they go?” he wondered. “And what do they do when they get there?” He ambled over to another patch of grass, ate it and chewed slowly.

Slowly. Everything he did, he did slowly. There was no need to be in a hurry since his life was pre-ordained. Sleep, wake up, eat, drink, sleep again. The routine was ingrained, instinctual. All within the confines of a barbed wire fence, all dictated by the careful monitoring of the owner’s master plan.

Within an hour he had worked his way to the tree by the road. So far, five cars had driven by, only one honking to get his attention. Or to scare him, he wasn’t sure. Didn’t matter, really, because he had grown immune to the screech of their horns. He looked up with another mouthful of grass, content to chew, breaking it down for consumption, when he noticed something that made his heart quicken. A tree limb had snapped off and fallen on the fence, flattening an entire section. Stanley blinked, twice, and then spit the grass back to the ground. For the first time in his life he had an option. He could leave the field and finally find out where those cars go.

And what they do when they get there.

{This story isn't complete! Continue the narrative in the comments by adding on to the previous comment. Come back as often as you want and see where the story has traveled. Go! It’s your turn...}

Daily Detritus: Day Three

2010-01-25T08:23:00.002-05:00

“Let me have those.” Jeff’s statement came across as more of a command than a request.

“Those cookies? Dude, I have no idea how long those have been there.” Alan didn’t look up from his computer but did nod his head toward the two ginger snaps sitting on the counter. “My roommate bought those last week and for all I know he’s using them for an experiment. I wouldn’t touch those with gloves.”

“Experiment? Heh, that’s funny—”

“I’m serious. he works at some lab that he won’t or can’t tell me anything about and is always taking trips to God knows where and is gone for two or three weeks at a time.” Alan stopped reading his screen and looked at Jeff. “I honestly would not touch those cookies.”

Jeff tilted his head and squinted, conducting an internal debate on the validity of Alan’s assessment. After 30 seconds he leaned forward and grabbed both cookies. “You are full of crap.” As he popped the first one in his mouth he added, “And I’m hungry.”

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Daily Detritus: Day Two

2010-01-22T08:05:00.003-05:00

“Hurry and tear off another strip.” Angie was contorted around a rectangle package, the fingers of her left hand holding down a flap of Hello Kitty® wrapping paper, right elbow securing another and right hand awkwardly reaching toward her friend, Sabra, anticipating the requested tape.

“Chill out, dork! I can’t tear it off!” Sabra struggled with the serrated edge of the dispenser, finally ripping away a small piece of tape.

“I’m a dork? You’re a double dork! You can’t even tear the tape off right!” Sabra pushed the tape across the tip of Angie’s nose and laughed as she fruitlessly tried to reach it with her minimally free hand.

“Get it off me! I am serious! I have to finish this!”

“Okay, okay... dork!” Sabra reached over and yanked the tape from Angie’s nose, handing it to her in one arc. “Do you think she’ll like it? I mean, it’s a little weird, you know?”

“I don’t think it’s, like, weird at all. Different? Sure. But def not weird.” Angie held up the wrapped package eye level and inspected all the corners, pleased with the final product. “But we’re getting ready to find out if it’s been worth the trouble and if she’ll forgive me. Let’s go...”

{This story isn't complete! Continue the narrative in the comments by adding on to the previous comment. Come back as often as you want and see where the story has traveled. Go! It’s your turn...}

Daily Detritus: Day One

2010-01-21T08:14:00.002-05:00

"You gonna answer that?" Peggy searched Owen's face for a hint that he had even heard the phone ring... six times.

"What?" Owen snapped his head toward her, his face contorted into a scowl.

"I said, 'You gonna get that?'"

"Nope. Nobody I'm intrested in talkin' to." He turned away from her and re-focused his attention on his tuna sandwich.

Peggy reached for the vibrating phone and was shocked at the quickness of Owen's hand grabbing her wrist, his grip tighter than required to impede her progress.

"No," his glare reinforcing the simple command.

Peggy returned the stare and growled through clinched teeth, "You have crossed the line and you have three seconds to return to a safer place."

{This story isn't complete! Continue the narrative in the comments by adding on to the previous comment. Come back as often as you want and see where the story has traveled. Go! It’s your turn...}

The Last Day

2009-12-31T10:02:00.001-05:00

On the last day of 1959, I was three months old.

On the last day of 1969, I was in 5th grade, concentrating on who was wearing my I.D. bracelet that week, blissfully unaware of the cruelty that awaited me in Junior High.

On the last day of 1979, I was a sophomore in college, scrambling to get through my core courses so I could “live” in the Fine Arts Building and never take math again.

On the last day of 1989, I was less than two months away from moving my family back to Tallahassee, Florida, although I had no idea that was about to happen.

The last day of 1999 is blurry, a warm soup of raising kids, making a living and striving. Always striving.

And now it is the last day of 2009. This morning I hugged my youngest child and prayed him off to school in Ft. Lauderdale. When my wife and I return to the house this evening we will experience our first few minutes of what is joyfully and/or sadly referred to as the “empty nest” phase of our lives.

And a happy New Year to you as well...

Corner Approaching...

2009-12-16T11:45:00.002-05:00

In three days, my oldest child, my son, will get married. The emotional smoothie I am drinking is, ultimately, refreshing and satisfying although there may be a few chunks of baggage stuck to my teeth (please let me know if you see any...). I am looking forward to a great weekend and the chance to watch a new couple create their own home and family story. God bless you both and thank you for making me happy...

¡Cuánto tiempo! ¡Tanto tiempo sin verte!

2009-10-03T08:42:00.002-05:00

My daughter posted a simple sentence online: “I need an adventure.”

Yeah, I get that.

This last month has represented a few milestones for me. My youngest son travelled south to go to school, my daughter moved out to her own place in town and I turned 50. The one child at home is my oldest, trying to finish school and plan a December wedding. That is a lot of change to digest in a few short weeks but, honestly, I am good with it all. In fact, I am more than good. I am excited for everyone and the steps they are taking to get on with their lives. To break out of the confines of the walls of our house (literally and figuratively) and begin to create their own stories.

But now I contend with a nagging question: Where does that leave me? A long time ago I adjusted my career goals from whatever far-fetched illustrator/designer dreams I could imagine to simply preparing my three kids to leave my house equipped to take on the world—emotionally and, more importantly, spiritually. It has been an incredible ride, an adventure, that has been a crazy mix of happy and sad tears, lots of prayer and more work than I would have thought necessary when I made my vow. And it has been marvelously satisfying.

But it does raise the question, “What now?” In the micro, my wife and I will still parent, we will still dispense advice and we will strive to be ridiculously awesome grandparents (one day), but when I look at things high level I wonder: What is next? There are infinite possibilities—I come up with something every three minutes or so—but nothing has seemed right. No idea has slipped into a slot comfortably, so I wait. Again. This is not an unusual spot to be in, this life rest stop, but, before, I knew what I was waiting on. An answer, a check, a decision. Now? I have no idea. It’s an interesting, restless plateau. I have reported for duty and await my orders. And my next adventure.

Effort, Rewarded

2009-09-24T14:26:00.001-05:00

“Art never responds to the wish to make it democratic; it is not for everybody; it is only for those who are willing to undergo the effort needed to understand it.”

Flannery O'Connor

The Journey Begins

2009-09-09T07:13:00.007-05:00

The family traveled to Ft. Lauderdale this past Labor Day weekend to take Jordan to school. Here are a few pictures from the weekend. Jordan started class yesterday and his limited report last night was positive. Pray for Jordan and the rest of the students and faculty at Ocean’s Edge. This is their largest class in the four year history of the school so they are breaking some new ground this year.

OE has a blog you can follow as well and today they have posted some pictures from orientation. If you look closely, you can see the Colle family table in the background of several shots. I am sure there will be more stories to post as the year progresses. Until then, enjoy the pictures...

The Class of 2010

Jordan in the group shot

Jordan at orientation. I wonder what is going through his mind at this point? (Probably, "I wish my parents would leave already...")

Jordan and Laura at dinner Saturday night.

Last family picture before we left. It is late and dark hence the funky lighting issues but I am glad the event was recorded.

Striving

2009-06-30T07:30:00.001-05:00

My life has been one long project propelled by a continuously stoked fire of striving. Always a book to read, a story to write, an idea to flesh out. Always. And usually more than one at a time. In the rare moments when someone asks, I’ve often used the metaphor of pots on a stove to explain how I function. My mind is a stove top with five or six burners. I am constantly tending to several pots—projects—at various stages of heat. Some are simmering, waiting their turn. Others are on full boil and need immediate attention. None are cold and stagnant. And there are always pots and heat and tremendous amounts of energy being expended to tend to them; the space is busy and loud. I’ve always written it off as “it’s just who I am; it’s how I am wired” and accepted that I will carry this Burden of the Boiling Basins to my grave.

But lately I have started to question that. More specifically, I have started questioning my motivation. Why do I pour so much energy into these self-inspired projects? Why do I tend to all these burning pots of ideas? Is attributing it to my “wiring” a legitimate excuse for all that striving? What have I gained? More importantly, what might I have missed while engaged in adjusting all those burners? Have I missed something great while striving for good (or worse, mediocre)? Is it possible to hear a different voice when all those personal pots are boiling? Maybe, just maybe, it is time to turn off a couple of burners and rest.

And wait.

And give God a chance to speak. Have I been expecting a shout above the din when He was always calling in a whisper?

One hand full of rest is better than two fists full of labor and striving after wind.
Ecclesiastes 4:6 (NASB)

Jaysephus’ Book of Common Prayers

2009-06-19T07:09:00.004-05:00

So I sit here, stand here, drive here, wait here. I really don’t worry about the outcome while I wait but I do worry about me. Forgive me for wandering. Give me patience to wait another day (or five). And help me remember that there are millions out there dealing with more than I. My issues are minor in comparison. Big to me? Sure, but minor, none-the-less. Too many are dealing with survival, illness, hunger, hopelessness; I am dealing with none of those. Tilt my focus to them, not me. Give me oil in my lamp...

Memorable Memories

2009-06-13T07:32:00.005-05:00

I have always been fascinated at the power of memory. The way a song, phrase, sound and even a smell can instantly transport us back to a previous emotional spot is amazing. Sometimes it is subtle, bringing a wry smile, but other times it is overwhelming, your face turns red, neck gets hot or tears well up. All from a memory. It’s a little weird as well as an incredible display of what our minds are capable of.

Yesterday I posted some old pictures on Facebook. I had been digging around through old photo albums and came across two scrapbooks I had put together during high school. On a whim I scanned a few pictures and put them up on my page. I then threw out a “just so you know” message on Twitter—which automatically updates my Facebook page (how very meta of me!)—and waited to see what the response would be. I was shocked. Before an hour was up, people had tagged nearly every person in the group shots and the comments were flooding my inbox. I reconnected with several people I had not “spoken” to in years, some never, since they were siblings of old friends, and was in the midst of a few mini conversations at once. The most memory jarring photo, by far, is the group shot of our performance choir, taken at the Buccaneer Festival in Corpus Christi, Texas, 1977. The choir director from then (whom I had recently been in contact with via Facebook, naturally) tagged nearly every person in the choir from memory and his recollections of our choir (which he shared via comments) started a wonderful traipse through our past with several people joining in. It has been fun as well as a fascinating.

This is “social media” in its purest and best form. No one selling anything. No one asking you to take a quiz. No one trying to convince you that having 10,000 followers makes you powerful. No, the power comes from memories and being able to reconnect those threads, digitally or otherwise. And now I have new memories on top of old.

NOTE: My choir director mentioned he has recordings of our choir that he is going to try and get digitized. He will then share them with us online. Another layer, another memory (and hopefully we are as good as we remembered!).

Short and Not-So-Sweet

2009-06-11T08:15:00.000-05:00

There are too many things in my life that make me happy that really should break my heart.

Forgive Me

2009-06-05T15:40:00.002-05:00

I haven't posted all week because I wanted that last post to stay at the top of the page for as long as possible. This really doesn't count as a post, does it? I guess not but no matter. Enjoy your weekend...