Trust 30: Entry Nine

Afraid to Do by Mary Jaksch

The other terror that scares us from self-trust is our consistency; a reverence for our past act or word, because the eyes of others have no other data for computing our orbit than our past acts, and we are loath to disappoint them. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Emerson says: “Always do what you are afraid to do.” What is ‘too scary’ to write about? Try doing it now.

(Author: Mary Jaksch)

I wrote it but I’m not sharing it. There is a big difference between burping and throwing up.  

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Find out more at http://ralphwaldoemerson.me

Trust 30: Entry Eight

Five Years by Corbett Barr

There will be an agreement in whatever variety of actions, so they be each honest and natural in their hour. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

What would you say to the person you were five years ago? What will you say to the person you’ll be in five years?

(Author: Corbett Barr)

Dear Jay (five years ago): Things are going well, aren’t they? You just started a new and promising job as a Creative Director. Your first born just finished his first year at college and your daughter just graduated high school with plans to attend the same college as your oldest. Your youngest child completed his freshman year of high school that included a successful season on the baseball diamond and is now looking forward to the Babe Ruth summer season. Your wife is nearing completion of her first year at her first job outside of the classroom and it has been a success. Congratulations. Life is good.

Now, in regards to William’s new girlfriend, yes, they are going to get married. And your daughter? She’ll be in California for a year and then spend a semester in Israel and another in Italy before she comes home again. And when Jordan blows out his elbow next month? You should know that he won’t ever play baseball again, regardless of all the rehab and two more surgeries. And all that money you and Hope are pouring into school and vacations and whatever else comes up? You’re still paying it off in 2011. In fact, you have another solid year before any of that goes away. (I probably should have written this to Jay “ten years ago” and maybe you’d have planned better.) Your wife has held on to the same job for five years, but you? Dude, you are currently on your third job since now. Sure, the reasons are varied and, mostly, out of your control, but you should know that you have been consistent in adding to your work history.

So, what’s the takeaway? William and Jul are happy and thriving. Laura is still restless but that time away was the best thing for her and she is a dynamo. Jordan left behind athletics, concentrated on music and is also thriving. Your marriage has survived 29 years and the two of you are still best friends, regardless of debt, trials and the day to day battering of life. Bottom line? You have no idea what is coming and it can all change in a minute (a cliché is a cliché because it is true). So, enjoy the ride. All the planning and speculating is good and necessary but you have to be flexible enough to bob and weave when it doesn’t quite work out like you thought. And, more often than not, it does not work out like you planned. But, blessedly, it still works out.

Dear Jay (five years from now): So, you couldn’t stay under 200 pounds. Really?

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Find out more at http://ralphwaldoemerson.me

Trust 30: Entry Seven

Dare to be bold by Matt Cheuvront

Our arts, our occupations, our marriages, our religion, we have not chosen, but society has chosen for us. We are parlour soldiers. We shun the rugged battle of fate, where strength is born. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Next to Resistance, rational thought is the artist or entrepreneurs worst enemy. Bad things happen when we employ rational thought, because rational thought comes from the ego. Instead, we want to work from the Self, that is, from instinct and intuition, from the unconscious.

A child has no trouble believing the unbelievable, nor does the genius or the madman. Its only you and I, with our big brains and our tiny hearts, who doubt and overthink and hesitate.” - Steven Pressfield, Do the Work

The idea of “being realistic” holds all of us back. From starting a business or quitting a job to dating someone who may not be our type or moving to a new place – getting “real” often means putting your dreams on hold.

Today, let’s take a step away from rational thought and dare to be bold. What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to accomplish but have been afraid to pursue? Write it down. Also write down the obstacles in your way of reaching your goal. Finally, write down a tangible plan to overcome each obstacle.

The only thing left is to, you know, actually go make it happen. What are you waiting for?

(Author: Matt Cheuvront)

I have spent 30 years striving, looking for the creative edge, working nights on special projects, pouring myself into the next thing that will get me noticed. Whether it was market forces, bad timing or the simple reason that my work wasn’t very good, “success” has been a vapor. Whatever the reasons, I can attest that it has not been for lack of effort, dreaming or desire. 

And now I am tired.

When I am asked the one thing I have always wanted to accomplish but have been afraid to pursue, I have a new answer. I want to be content with where I am. To still write and create projects and not have the motivation be getting published or recognized, but to be satisfied with the ability to put down on paper what I see in my head. To get through my day fulfilled because of solid effort, not relying on the blessings of others for a sense of achievement. To enjoy my family and friends, taking great pleasure in a cigar and a quality bourbon shared on the porch with a side of conversation. To slow down and let things happen organically, not shaped and forced in a rush. To be present right now, not burning energy on what could have been or manipulating what happens next. To not be panicked when it is quiet. To develop fewer, but deeper, relationships. These are the things I want to accomplish. 

Before it’s too late.

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Find out more at http://ralphwaldoemerson.me

Trust 30: Entry Six

Come Alive by Jonathan Mead

Life wastes itself while we are preparing to live. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you had one week left to live, would you still be doing what you’re doing now? In what areas of your life are you preparing to live? Take them off your To Do list and add them to a To Stop list. Resolve to only do what makes you come alive.

Bonus: How can your goals improve the present and not keep you in a perpetual “always something better” spiral?

(Author: Jonathan Mead)

Responsibility. It is something that can create an annoying drag on dreams and goals. It is very easy to discuss and plan all the things I want to do and deserve to do and ruminate on what I was intended to do. But sometimes, paying bills and feeding kids and mowing the lawn gets in the way. And sometimes, lack of talent can crimp those plans as well. But there is something that I can do regardless of my responsibilities or aptitude and that is to love people. All it takes is effort and a certain degree of want-to and to follow through is to achieve the highest level of existence.

So If I had one week left to live, I’d quit work and shirk some of the responsibilities that tie me up but my main focus would be to shore up relationships and try to love as many people as I could. To spend all the time I had left investing in other people one last time. Frankly, that is something I can do now—whether I am over-, under- or unemployed, striving or cruising, rich or poor or trying to decide. I can’t think of a better way to improve my present (or anyone else's). Fortunately, there are a lot of people out there to love so it is a noble to-do list that I can, and will, tend to from now until then.

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Find out more at http://ralphwaldoemerson.me

Trust 30: Entry Five

Travel by Chris Guillebeau

If we live truly, we shall see truly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Not everyone wants to travel the world, but most people can identify at least one place in the world they’d like to visit before they die. Where is that place for you, and what will you do to make sure you get there?

(Author: Chris Guillebeau)

Since I was young I have always been fascinated with Australia. I have no idea why. Maybe it's the accent of the natives or that the people are blonde, attractive, laid back and seem to enjoy themselves. Like California on steroids. I have visited many places around the globe but Australia has always been there, biding its time, waiting for me to figure out a way to visit. I currently have no plans to travel there and see no way that it will happen in the near future. But maybe after the kid's college debt is paid and a few too-long-ignored things are fixed around the house I can plan a trip. Practical so often rules the day. Maybe one day impractical will decide to take a trek and invite me along. 

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Find out more at http://ralphwaldoemerson.me

Trust 30: Entry Four

Post-it Question by Jenny Blake

That which each can do best, none but his Maker can teach him. Where is the master who could have taught Shakespeare? Where is the master who could have instructed Franklin, or Washington, or Bacon, or Newton? . . . Shakespeare will never be made by the study of Shakespeare. Do that which is assigned you, and you cannot hope too much or dare too much. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Identify one of your biggest challenges at the moment (ie I don’t feel passionate about my work) and turn it into a question (ie How can I do work I’m passionate about?) Write it on a post-it and put it up on your bathroom mirror or the back of your front door. After 48-hours, journal what answers came up for you and be sure to evaluate them.

Bonus: tweet or blog a photo of your post-it.

(Author: Jenny Blake)

How can I stay curious and continue to create—to continue “the habit of art” (Flannery O’Connor)—with no guarantee anyone will notice? 

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Find out more at http://ralphwaldoemerson.me

Trust 30: Entry Three

One Strong Belief by Buster Benson

It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude. - Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

The world is powered by passionate people, powerful ideas, and fearless action. What’s one strong belief you possess that isn’t shared by your closest friends or family? What inspires this belief, and what have you done to actively live it?

(Author: Buster Benson)

I am surrounded by people that share my strongest beliefs and I cannot think of one single thing I passionately believe that does not also line up with the passionate beliefs of my inner circle of relationships. I am referring to essential, core beliefs—of which there are less than a handful—ignoring nonessential, surface dogma of which there are many. And I am okay with that. Frankly, why would a person want anything less? There are enough negative people out there to mash your passions; I need to come home to the true believers. 

When referring to strong beliefs, what are we talking about? Belief in self? Belief in a Higher Being? Belief in a governmental philosophy? Belief that I can accomplish more than I have been given the opportunity to accomplish? Belief that I am smarter than you think I am? Belief that I can fly? Belief that those blinking lights at night aren’t really stars but satellites that are monitoring my every move? If I can’t share what I am passionate about for fear of mocking or squelching, then I need to trade in my friends and family for a better set. I need to surround myself with folks that can laugh at crazy ideas and get enthusiastic about great ones. That can slow me down when caution is called for and can kick my butt when I just think caution is in play. That won’t get scared when I share my soul and can expect the same from me. If I have to hide anything, I need to find better friends. Life is too short (and humid) to wear a mask.

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Find out more at http://ralphwaldoemerson.me

Trust 30: Entry Two

Liz Danzico – Today

Your genuine action will explain itself, and will explain your other genuine actions. Your conformity explains nothing. The force of character is cumulative. – Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

If ‘the voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tracks,’ then it is more genuine to be present today than to recount yesterdays. How would you describe today using only one sentence? Tell today’s sentence to one other person. Repeat each day.

(Author: Liz Danzico)

Today I plan to get better and I have an idea of how but I understand that my plans can change and that is okay as long as I get better.

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Find out more at http://ralphwaldoemerson.me

Trust 30: Entry One

Gwen Bell – 15 Minutes to Live
We are afraid of truth, afraid of fortune, afraid of death, and afraid of each other. Our age yields no great and perfect persons. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
You just discovered you have fifteen minutes to live.
1. Set a timer for fifteen minutes.

2. Write the story that has to be written.
(Author: Gwen Bell)

To whom it may concern:
Now that is a lame way to start the last thing I will ever write but I honestly don’t know who will read this so I am sending it out to whomever. I realized when I passed 50 that I was over halfway through my life. Little did I know that it was actually my 26th birthday that marked the mid point. Funny what we don’t know when we think we know it all. At 26 I was still convinced that life was run on a track in front of adoring crowds and well wishers. I was sure of what I was going to accomplish and had five and ten year goals written down and committed to memory. I was limber, lean and my energy levels were high, allowing me to stay focused and keep my expectations high.

Now I know that the race resembles an extreme trail run, most of my time spent looking down, dodging rocks and snakes, praying I don’t turn an ankle because I can’t afford the day off to recover. And the great throng of supporters stayed in the bleachers and didn’t follow me on the journey. Yes, I was blessed to have family and a few solid friends that yelled encouragement when I passed them or we crossed paths, and that cannot be measured. The five and ten year goals are a little fuzzy in my memory but that’s because they changed. A wife and kids altered those theoretical milestones, all replaced with real life situations where the payment was a smile or a hug or an “I love you” out of nowhere. Grace replaced accounting ledgers and I am finishing this race with zero disappointment.

It’s interesting that this is happening just as my youngest is taking off. All three kids will be fine, more than fine, great, and my wife is a lot tougher than she thinks. I’ll miss them if that is even possible in the next phase, and I know they’ll miss me, but I also know they are prepared to go on. Their story is my story. All they need to do is write some more chapters.

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Find out more at http://ralphwaldoemerson.me

Read on

Story Engineering: Mastering the 6 Core Competencies of Successful Writing

By Larry Brooks

When I started this book, my expectations were low. I have read a number of “how to write” books and they start to take on a sameness, with the amount of quality, new information either buried or non-existent. I am very glad I worked past my prejudices and made the effort to give this book a chance. It did not disappoint. 

As the title suggests, the book is based on six core competencies the author shows are a requirement in every successful story. Whether you are a writer who works from an outline or a writer who is more organic and lets the story come to you, he is convincing in his logic. I especially enjoyed the use of movies and screenplays, along with best selling fiction, as examples, making it clear that a story that “works” is not under the sole jurisdiction of the published novel. The detail for each competency is clear and easy to follow and the author’s enthusiasm for my unpublished manuscript—even though he hasn’t ever read it—was infectious. His cheerleading for the reader stopped just short of corny, but it made me want to write.

One thing he stressed time again was this was not a set of rules to squelch your creativity and beautiful words. The core competencies are used because they work. Skip one of the six and your story may still be readable, but it will not be publishable. He makes his case and I was convinced. This paragraph from the author helps sum up his concept:

That’s all this book really is. It’s a set of principles that help you get bad ideas, unprofessional habits, incomplete notions, and outdated techniques out of the way, allowing the best story you have in you to surface, while creating a benchmark for the best sentences you can bring to it.

BookSneeze® has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book for review.

A Book Review

The Hole in Our Gospel

Richard Stearn

The Hole in Our Gospel is a two-fer. The first part is about Mr. Stearn’s transition from a successful corporate CEO of Lenox to leading World Vision, a Christian aid organization that battles worldwide poverty and injustice. Frankly, the first part was more interesting to me than the second. Something about the rhetoric bothered me when it moved into the latter pages, what I felt was the “Scolding and Tut-Tutting” section of the book. Initially, I assumed my annoyance was Spirit-led and that I should take my conviction like a man. But I then realized that, no, I was just annoyed that someone else was trying to guilt me into doing things their way and if I didn’t, well, shame on me. I have no reason to doubt that Mr. Stearn (and World Vision) are doing wonderful things across the globe. What I doubt is that Mr. Stearn has any idea what my church is doing to combat poverty in my home town and in the areas globally that we support through our missionaries. The broad brush of “shame on you, American church” was unfair and offensive. The book has merit and I would recommend it for the fascinating personal story of Mr. Stearn’s journey. Just know that the second part has the ability to inspire or disappoint.

BookSneeze® has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book for review.

Meh.

I am sick and tired (and more than a little bit pained) of all the bickering in the world. Everyone is so assured of his or her truth that all there is left to do is yell, cast aspersions and be snarky. No one listens; everyone screams. And they are screaming even when they are calmly "stating the facts." It is so dispiriting. I would love a Pill of Ignorance® that could sweep through my brain and adjust my emotional state to "meh." Which could quickly lead to, "Look! A pony!” And I would run after it giggling like a schoolgirl…

One Year Ago Today...

One year ago today, the band Vera performed their first public show at the Crowbar in Tampa, Florida. I was in attendance (drummer groupie) and videotaped their short set (they were the opener and were allowed to play a whopping 15 minutes—three songs). At the time, the management company overseeing Vera’s progress asked that I not post the videos because they had a marketing plan in place for the band so I was content to keep the videos private and just share them with friends and family.

That was then. This is now.

Although the band is no longer together (R.I.P.), I wanted to commemorate the short but promising career of the band by finally sharing the videos with the world (or at least the few people that this text will cross their path). Rewatching them today I am still impressed with how well they played considering it was their first live show as a band (and that it sounds pretty good even though I was videotaping on a small digital camcorder). I hope you enjoy this little bit of music history and remember what was, no matter how briefly their star got to shine...

Song One: Sound

Song Two: Second Song (It was never given a name and the fact that it was played second during this set meant that it was always referred to as “Second Song.”)

Song Three: Blue, Forever (Still my favorite song of theirs...)

Compare and Contrast

There is a whole lot of genetics going on here...

I was scanning through the pictures my daughter took during Thanksgiving and started noticing something that had previously alluded me. I decided to conduct an experiment and see if I was the only one who noticed. Yes, these are photographs of William J. Colle II and William J. Colle III. I present to you Father and Son: One of These Things is JUST Like the Other.

I Have Returned

Hope and I had an incredible eight days in northern California with my brother Kyle and his wife, Shannon. I posted a bunch of pictures on Facebook (go HERE) so check them out if you care to. I took advantage of the hours on the plane to get a kick-start on a story I have been working on for far too long and, frankly, that was a bit of a surprise. Now if I can just find someone who will fly me around for several hours every weekend I may finish the story. Here are a couple of pictures that didn't make it to Facebook:

This picture is of my brother and me, overwhelmed at a winery that looks like a castle. It was an emotional moment, captured wonderfully by my wife.

And here is the lovely photographer, posing dutifully in the lobby of The Carneros Inn, our lodgings in Napa. The entire resort was truly a Pottery Barn catalog come-to-life. 

Thanks for visiting. More updates to come...

I Love Technology

Technology is my digital friend. It has allowed me to follow through with an idea that I would not have been able to conceive five years ago (maybe even two years ago)—put some of my stories online in digital format for the entire world to see (and purchase and download and read and love). Starting today, I have made available two options, one full-length piece of fiction and the other a couple of short stories pulled together in one volume. They are electronic books only and are available for download at Amazon and Barnes and Nobles. The descriptions and links are below.

Back, Again:

“Back, Again” is the story of a man who spent his life doing right and, at 45, finds the results wanting. He makes a radical decision in response to his disillusionment and turns his back on his life-long faith, shirking Christianity and denying the existence of God. This isn’t brought on by tragedy or some earth-shattering event; it’s a sober decision based on doubts and disappointments. On the surface, the book deals with the ramifications of his decision and the toll it takes on long-established relationships, mainly with his wife, children and parents. The story also works on deeper levels. It’s a love story between Earl and Ellen. It’s a story of a man in search of himself. It’s a story of redemption.

[That is the official blurb, the one I put out there for agents, publishers and people I don’t know. The more personal explanation of this story is it is a fictional version of my life if I had made a few different decisions and followed through with some of the thoughts I have entertained. Yes, the names are different but that helps make it fiction, right?—no matter how thinly disguised. It is an alternate reality that could have—but did not—happen.]

Back, Again:

Amazon (US): http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0046A9SXA

Amazon (UK): https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0046A9SXA

Barnes & Noble (Nook): http://search.barnesandnoble.com/books/product.aspx?ean=2940011816376

Two Short Stories:

“Two Short Stories” by Jay Colle is … well, two short stories. Truth in advertising is alive and well. The first story, “Save Me, Black Jesus,” is a sober look at the prospect of dying told through the eyes of a patient in a hospital. The second story, “Oh, Tanner Baum,” is a humorous look at selecting a Christmas tree told through the eyes of a young boy. The stories are so far apart in tone and concept that they cannot see each other even if they use binoculars. Which is why it makes perfect sense to bundle them together. Seriously. Stop staring at me…

Two Short Stories:

Amazon (US): http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0046H9I9C

Amazon (UK): https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0046H9I9C

Barnes & Noble (Nook): http://search.barnesandnoble.com/books/product.aspx?ean=2940011819933

These are links to download the apps to read the e-books:

Kindle apps:

iPhone: http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=kcp_iphone_mkt_lnd?docId=1000301301

PC: http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=kcp_pc_mkt_lnd?docId=1000426311

Blackberry: http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000468551

Android:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/?&docId=165849822

Nook apps:

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/u/free-nook-apps/379002321/

Twenty Years

Recently, I was sifting through some old VHS tapes in an effort to convert them over to DVDs. This has been a lengthy, laborious process since we have/had stacks of tapes dating back to the birth of our first child in 1986. (Our first video camera was so large and clunky it looked like it belonged in a television studio and I am surprised we burned so much tape considering the wear and tear on our shoulders. Yes, I said shoulders...) Throughout this process I have made several discoveries:

1. I have a lot of fodder for embarrassing wedding videos as my children marry,
2. We took an awful lot of video of our children as babies... just sitting. (Yet I still find it difficult to edit any of it in the transfer process...),
3. A lot of my friends are still married.

One of the tapes I discovered was a recording of a going away party for Hope and I from 1990. We were moving our young family from Central Florida back to Tallahassee and our core group of friends gathered all of us together for a proper send-off. Besides how young (and thin and hairy) we all looked (uhm, the previous parenthetical statement was aimed at the men ONLY), what jumped out to me was, out of the 13 couples who attended the party (including us), all but one of them are still together.

Twenty years later.

I have no idea why (other than some pretty strong spiritual foundations infused in all of the marriages... okay, that is probably the main reason) but it was nice to see the tape and have that epiphany. Congratulations to my friends. Stay strong. Keep on loving...

Back, Again...

We have had a whirlwind month of August. In brief, Jordan decided to return to Ocean’s Edge School for a second year. It was not a rash decision although, to the casual observer, it seemed that way. He just felt like God placed it on his heart to follow the calling of another year to study and perform with OE’s incredible staff—and to do it now. His original intention was to give Vera a full, uninterrupted year to see how they fared in the rough and tumble music business. As the summer progressed, he sensed the change coming and, eventually, acted upon it. After explaining his reasoning to the guys in the band they were understanding and encouraging, although understandably disappointed. They spent last week in the studio recording some of the new songs they had written and performed at shows over the summer. All indications are the songs sound great and, hopefully, they will share them eventually. It's nice that his drumming for the band will have some shelf life.

So, this past Sunday we packed up the truck once again and sent Jordan southward. Hope and I are a little sad to see him go but are 100% behind his decision. And we cannot wait to see why God called him back to Ft. Lauderdale.

One more time!

Ocean's Edge has released the latest video from the End Of Year CD recording for the Class of 2010. This is the only cover they performed and it is "With Everything" by Hillsong United. It was the showstopping last song at The Show as well. And, oh yeah, my son sings lead vocals... almost forgot to mention that. Enjoy! (And thank you, Hillsong, for writing such a powerful song...)



You can watch the wide screen version here.

The Cone of Silence

Sorry for the lack of posts recently. I am following advice I (and pretty much everyone I know) received as a child: If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all. Well, to be truthful, I basically have not had anything to say, period. Good, bad or indifferent. But I will and soon. I will leave you with this picture. This is me with one of my good buddies, Queen Kara, discussing how we are going to rule our kingdom together. If I remember correctly there will be lots of stuffed animals and sweets. All in favor say "eye."

Eye.