5/07/2012

From Three to Four



The first born of a first born of a first born and the first grandchild and great grandchild in the immediate Colle family circle sounds like it could carry with it a lot of pressure, but my oldest child has been up for the challenge since day one. Granted, he was 19 days late entering this world and his head was... well, large, and proved to be a bit of a problem for his mom that wonderful afternoon 26 years ago. And that was about the last time he gave either of us any trouble. Among his many talents and gifts, he has made us look like incredible parents and for that we will always be eternally grateful.

Today he turns 26 years old and I want to thank him for carrying our name with such class and for the not-so-small thing of bringing a wonderful addition to our clan named Julianne. She is a guarantee of his refined taste and that our family is in good hands for at least one more generation. Happy Birthday, William Jacob Colle IV. I love you and am more proud of you than you will ever know. 

5/01/2012

Sneak Pique II


Happy May Day! To celebrate this annual event, I am offering you another free preview of another story, “Back, Again.” If you read it and are intrigued, you can purchase the full electronic version here

Other stories are also available:



Note: When you purchase one of the stories, you can download and read it on the Kindle app on your computer or phone; you don’t have to own a physical Kindle.

Back, Again

By Jay Colle

Chapter One

September 4
Dear Pastor Enzo,
It is with all of the seriousness I can muster that I write this letter to inform you I am done with Christianity. Obviously, that means I will no longer be attending the church. I want to make it clear this has nothing to do with you so please don’t take it personally. I am not disappointed in you or your teachings although you and they did contribute to my decision but only a little bit. I will not be attending another church so don’t bother asking. As far as I know, Ellen and the kids will still be attending but I can’t confirm that. Understandably, my wife and I are suffering some communication issues right now. I wish you the best of luck as you lead your flock into the future. I will chart your progress from afar.
Till whenever,
Earl Benton

Chapter Two

I had mailed the letter to my pastor days ago. I hadn’t heard from him and didn’t think I would. What could he say to me? I doubt there are many classes offered at seminary that taught future pastors how to respond to longstanding members of their congregation that decide the whole Christianity business is a sham. My initial dilemma had more to do with timing than anything else. Did my new, heathen life officially start the minute I wrote the letter and proclaimed the announcement in print? Or did it start once the pastor received the letter, thereby having an officer of the church duly notified? Not exactly a blessing but almost. Hard to say and, honestly, I don’t think it mattered all that much. After all, it was my decision and it became sanctioned the minute I said it was sanctioned—mentally, verbally or otherwise. The fact that I pondered that question at all showed I had a lifetime of built-in authority issues to claw through.

My decision to abandon Christianity wasn’t a knee jerk reaction to some catastrophic event or the result of an unexpected death of a loved one. That would have made the decision superficial and doomed to fad status, here today and probably not here tomorrow. The initial germination may have been budding inside me my entire life. I’d always been a ponderer, someone who thought and worried too much, and my spiritual life was by no means off limits to my internalized dramas. Of course, I say that but, thinking back, I probably put a mental governor on my creeping reservations because, according to a lifetime of teaching and indoctrination, doubt was a sin and hell had special vats of boiling oil for those who turned away.

With that hot liquid in mind I could only imagine what my wife was thinking when I caught her staring at me, eyes wide, lips mashed together, unable to verbalize the angst winding through her emotional reserves. I had made it a point in our 23 years of marriage to try and share with her whatever was on my mind, no matter how inane or odd. And boy, did I ever have a lot of thoughts in both categories. This verbal sharing habit served the duel purpose of making me more endearing (in a “it must be a wonderful little planet that you live on” kind of way) and scaring her to the point of tears (in a “if you follow through with that I will never speak to you again” kind of way). For both of those reasons I decided to keep my developing thoughts about abandoning Christianity to myself. When I first started toying with the idea I managed to scare even myself so I didn’t dare drag Ellen into the process. Maybe it was a subtle form of spiritual chivalry but I didn’t want to haul her through my mental flipping just for exercise. She deserved to be spared. Of course, my gallantries made the impact of my announcement pack a much larger whollop than was probably necessary but I’m not sure anything would have sufficiently prepared her. She hadn’t spoken to me since I told her, which was probably best because I had 45 years of habits and processes that needed to be adjusted. Her silence gave me a chance to gain a toehold in my new life of heathenry.

On Tuesday I woke up at 6:01, the same time I had been waking up for as long as I can remember (when it wasn’t 5:30). I always enjoyed the mornings because the house was silent and it gave me some time to enjoy my domain without interruption. The kids varied school schedules required a complicated matrix of alarms and wakeup calls, but I had routinely given myself 15 minutes of quiet before the whistles of water pipes and the screeching of clothes drawers broke the calm.

Ever since junior high school I had spent those minutes reading the Bible, praying and writing in my journal. The omnipresent specter of The Quiet Time has hung over the followers of Christianity for hundreds of years. Sunday School teachers and Small Group Leader’s have waved it like a club over the heads of believer’s young and old. Approach any spiritual authority figure with a problem in your life and the first response is usually, “How is your Quiet Time? Are you being faithful in your Time With the Lord?” The tilt of the head, furrowed brow and softly bitten lower lip only added to the seriousness of the unspoken accusation. In the areas of prayer and Bible study, the laity are guilty until proven guiltier. And we are guilty, because no one, not even the exalted accuser, can keep up the torrid, expected pace of Daily Devotionals every morning of the week. Those that came close were either cripplingly legalistic or bucking for a Perfect Attendance With God plaque from their Sunday School class. And really, at 14 years old, in my darkest hour of need, I could never understand why the Quiet Time question was at the top of the response list when I had just confessed of my paralyzing desire to see the preacher’s daughter naked.

Over and over we were told by the adults–either from the pulpit or in casual conversation in the Church parking lot–habits can be formed in 30 days. “Give it a month and you will be amazed at how easy it is to get up in the morning and dive right in. Before long you will find yourself jumping out of bed and, odds are, you will experience a bad day if you don’t have your Quiet Time.” When I was in high school, one teacher was honest enough to admit he couldn’t get through his without a cup of coffee but, in his easy rationalizing style, he figured God made the coffee beans and that rendered special dispensation on caffeine. The thirty-day theory never worked for me. I remember thinking it was because I had been inconsistent with my start times or maybe I had carried out the Quiet Time a couple of mornings when I’d rather been sleeping. I’m sure insincerity counted against you just as much as caffeine counted on the positive side of the holy ledger. I also remember thinking how it was unfortunate that I wasn’t allowed to drink coffee in high school and that my parent’s should be held partially responsible for my inconsistent Quiet Time. At least I was learning rationalization from my teacher.

Until today. Rationalization was unnecessary. In my foggy journey to the edge of the bed I realized I had no reason to be awake. No Bible to read, no journal to record sad and sappy thoughts and D.J., my daughter, wasn’t due her wake-up nudge for another 30 minutes. I threw everything into reverse and dug into the comforter for another half hour of heathen sleep.

But I couldn’t pull it off. The minute my head hit the pillow I was wide-awake. I could not have been more alert if someone had splashed me with cold water. Lying on my side, double pillows stacked under my head, I started receiving mental snap shots from some deeply hidden crevice in the section of my brain responsible for doling out memories. The stills started cross-dissolving slowly and I could distinguish details from each one. I was young, usually reading, sometimes drawing, but always alone. As each picture was replaced by another, the pace of the flips quickened. For a brief period of time the speed allowed me to see myself in flip-book animation style and it looked like I was eating books and then passing them through the back of the chair. After a few minutes watching myself power read, the transitions were flipping too fast and the whole thing disintegrated into an origami egret and flew away. I spent the rest of the time staring at the floor fan, praying, no, hoping the egret would not return. At 6:30 I climbed out of bed and began my day.
 © 2012 Jay Colle

4/26/2012

Sneak Pique


Today, I offer you a free preview of my story, “Adam Mahoney, You Just Won!” If you read it and are intrigued, you can purchase the full electronic version here

Other stories are also available:



Note: When you purchase one of the stories, you can download and read it on the Kindle app on your computer or phone; you don’t have to own a physical Kindle.


Adam Mahoney, You Just Won!
By Jay Colle

Chapter One
Adam Mahoney was a tall man, too long for his bed, which reduced sleeping to a necessity and rarely a joy. He had developed a habit of waking up one minute before his alarm released its peal, a habit so ingrained into his daily routine that he had forgotten what his alarm sounded like. That explained why one particular morning in August the piercing whine that woke him sent a shock through him so complete that he lost control of his senses as well as his bladder and, subsequently, soaked his sheets. He was so disoriented that he had said “hello” three times into the phone receiver before he realized the racket was coming from his alarm clock. After slapping the night stand aimlessly for another few seconds he finally found the box and mashed every button until the screaming stopped.

It took him several minutes to calm down, aided by deep, cleansing breaths and several long draws on a cigarette, at which time the full impact of the wake-up call registered and, as his heart rate calmed, he began the process of cleaning up. He stripped his bed of all the linens and was relieved to see there had been minimal soak-through on his mattress. He gathered the large wad of sheets and headed toward the washing machine that was sharing space with the kitchen pantry on the other side of the house. As he crammed the offensive mess into the washer’s opening, he stripped off his clothes and added them to the load. He dusted the soap powder on top, closed the lid and moved toward the kitchen, naked and in dire need of coffee and another cigarette.

He started the brewing process, pulled a chair away from the dining room table and dragged it into the kitchen, setting it in front of the counter where the coffee was starting to gurgle and hiss. He sat down, lit a cigarette, leaned forward and rested his chin on the countertop, watching the slowly filling glass canister two feet away. As he stared, the adrenaline from his earlier scare finally released from his body and a flood of tired washed over him. He drew on the cigarette but its usual medicinal effects weren’t enough to cut through the haze. His eyelids began their shutting flutter and he gave in, just for a few seconds, until the final growl and wheeze of the coffee maker alerted him it was time to drink. He stood, ground out his cigarette in the sink and opened the cabinet door directly above the coffee maker, grabbed a large mug and reached for the sugar. He liked to add the sweetener first and let the hot liquid obliterate the crystals when they met at the bottom of the cup. He thought the sugar never evaporated as well if you dropped it into a full cup although he had no proof beyond his experience to prove it was true. Instead of his fingers hitting the metal of the sugar container they grazed against paper, an envelope resting against the container, white and clean, the size of a greeting card. It startled him not because he rarely received mail, which was true, but more because he hadn’t left the card there. He was sure of it.

He picked up the envelope and saw his name on the front in a fancy script, obviously handwritten with care and skill. “Mr. Adam Mahoney,” he read aloud. “Well, that’s me, but where the hell did this come from?” He rifled through his memory, trying to remember if he had been handed the envelope elsewhere and had absent-mindedly left it on the counter but he knew even as he walked through that mental exercise he had nothing to do with the letter or card or invitation. That meant someone had snuck into his house and placed it there, which wasn’t that big of a surprise since his hometown was small and his neighborhood was safe; locking the house was more of an afterthought than a necessity. He turned the envelope over and chuckled as he saw that it had been sealed with red wax, an unintelligible imprint of an official looking seal embedded sloppily off center. “Fancy,” he said as he turned it to a severe angle, manipulating the light to hit it in such a way that he could see it better and possibly read it. Unfortunately, there had been too much shift when whoever created it had mashed the seal into the wax. It offered no clues about its origin.

He set the envelope down, dropped two spoons of sugar in his cup and poured the coffee. He wasn’t one to rush into a mystery and this definitely qualified, at least in his life. Ever since his divorce he became even less spontaneous, a process his ex-wife believed was emotionally impossible. His lack of improvisation was, according to her, one of the contributing factors to their breakup. She never could understand that, after spending full days in a cubicle answering phones at the customer service desk at the plant, he had no burning desire to stretch his wings, go wild, cut loose. She was much more social than he and it had been a constant struggle to please her. But even she might agree this seemed like a great situation to practice some discipline. So he enjoyed his coffee and was content to just stare at the paper intruder.

He finally set down his nearly empty coffee cup and picked up the envelope again. He turned it over and gently pulled at the flap, cringing as the paper lost the battle with the wax, ripping between the seal and the crease. As he lifted the folded sheet of paper out of the envelope he caught a faint whiff of strawberries and assumed the papers were scented. “Must be from a girl,” he thought and that brought a slight, knowing smile to his face. “Not bloody likely.” He set the envelope down and unfolded the paper that had been stuffed inside. The contents were not at all what he was expecting, if he was expecting anything at all.

Dear Mr. Adam Mahoney,
This letter is to inform you that you are now the last man standing on earth. As of four this morning (E.S.T.) your planet has been wiped clean of all human life by a small group of extraterrestrial beings, aliens if you must, though we prefer the term Squatters. We were bored and wanted to see what would happen if we left only one person on a reasonably functional planet such as your own. You can consider it a science experiment except that we aren’t scientists, just satiated, super-intelligent beings looking for something to do on a Saturday night. We did you a huge favor by disposing of all of the bodies because to not do so would have been uncivilized and, quite frankly, a bit gross. One other thing, when we referenced “human life” earlier in this note we, unfortunately for you, are including the female of your species as well as all animals. Yes, you really are “it.” You are on your own and we wish you the best of luck as you survive. Good luck and we’ll be watching.

P.S. In case you were wondering (but why would you?) there is a small wager amongst us on how this little experiment will conclude but we will try to refrain from influencing your decisions. Our sense of fair play will, hopefully, overrule our competitive and individual desires to win. You can only hope…

Adam was confused and then amused as he read The Note. It was handwritten but he didn’t recognize the script, which was beautiful and meticulously rendered. He was convinced it was a joke but he could not imagine anyone in his life clever enough to come up with the idea much less pull it off. Certainly no one at work would have done it and, unless the delivery guy from Tony’s suddenly had a burst of motivation—and he could barely look him in the eyes during transactions—that crossed off the people from his anemic social life. He glanced at the clock over the stove and realized it was too early to call anyone and see if they had been included in the joke so he decided to take a shower and deal with it after he was clean and dressed. On the way to the bathroom he stopped to turn on his computer so he could check email before he left for work.

After showering, Adam lit a cigarette, walked over to his desk and sat down to see if he had received any overnight emails. He double-clicked his browser icon and was surprised how fast it loaded onto the screen. “It’s not that early,” he thought. “But no complaints. Good for me.” His inbox flashed up on the screen almost before he had finished selecting the link. “They must have upgraded the lines,” he reasoned. “This is damn fast.” He finished checking his messages in less than five minutes and glanced at his watch to make sure it wasn’t too early to call someone and ask them about the prank letter. It was 7:30 so he felt comfortable contacting a co-worker considering they all had to be at work at eight, just like himself. He tried Peter first but he had apparently left for work early so he left a message on his answering machine. Blaine didn’t answer either, but he usually went to eat breakfast at the diner before work so there was nothing unusual about that. As a last resort he called his mother, sure she would be home because she never went anywhere. His heart rate began accelerating with each unanswered ring and for the first time a small finger of dread reached up and poked his belly. “This is ridiculous,” he said. “I can’t believe I’m feeling like this. Mom’s probably in the bathroom.” He hung up the receiver and lit another cigarette.

He moved through the house and out the front door, deciding to check in with his neighbors. It was now less about the letter and more about seeing a smiling, familiar face. “Hell, at this point I’d accept someone grumpy.” He walked through his front yard, ignoring the damp grass coating his bare feet and hopped over the two-step landing to the front porch of the Harrison home, his long time neighbors to his right. He knocked on the door and waited. There was no sound coming from inside the house, a strange silence for a family with three children under eight, but he pushed down any negative thoughts and rang the doorbell; he would apologize if he woke up one of the babies. After two long minutes and several doorbell rings he decided they weren’t home. “I think they mentioned to me they were going out of town,” he thought. “I just didn’t realize it was this week.” He walked quickly to the neighbor’s house on the other side of his property, knocking politely and waiting. After two more knocks and three doorbell rings he started becoming concerned. “Why didn’t anyone tell me they were leaving town?” he asked out loud, a little too loud, not expecting an answer.

As he jogged across the street to see if the Broughton’s were home, something stopped him, an internal brake that sensed things weren’t right. He stood still and listened for a moment and realized there was nothing to listen to. No dogs barking, no trucks on the interstate, no churning of school busses or squealing delivery vehicle brakes. He had never heard it so quiet, anywhere. It wasn’t right, the silence, it was too thick and still. Something was wrong but he refused to let his mind drift toward the contents of the letter and sprinted to the front door of Phil and Sue Broughton’s home. He rang the doorbell, pushing it over and over with his thumb, simultaneously banging on the front door with his fist. “There’s no way this can be true, it’s ridiculous. There has to be a logical explanation.” He kept repeating that thought, trying to convince himself but knowing with each beat on the door it wasn’t working. Then, just as the quiet had stopped him in his sprint, a brilliant thought flashed into his brain and he dropped his hands, turned and looked toward his house. “Television,” he thought. As he ran across the Broughton’s yard and into the street he yelled “Television! Television!” unconcerned about waking any of his displaced neighbors, convinced that seeing live, talking news people would finally poke a hole in the charade.

He bounded through his front door and threw the sofa cushions onto the floor, searching for the remote control. When he found it he wheeled around and aimed it toward his television, hands shaking, ready to be right. The black screen flickered and light grew from the center to reveal a commercial for floor cleaner, its existence proving nothing. He fumbled with the numbered buttons on the remote, trying to push the correct sequence for one of the 24-hour news channels but he was flustered and it took three tries before he was successful. In mere seconds he wished he hadn’t been. On the screen was an empty news desk, no anchors, no people on the phone behind them in the newsroom and obviously no one manning the camera which had tilted to the left, creating a strangely cropped view of the empty studio, cutting off what would have been the tops of the heads of the happy anchors. The only sound was the remote control hitting the hardwood floor as it slipped out of Adam’s hand.

© 2012 Jay Colle

4/18/2012

Stories to Tell


Beginning today, three books I have written are available through Amazon’s Kindle Owners' Lending Library program. This allows members of Amazon Prime (who own any version of a Kindle device) to check out and read my stories for free, much like a brick and mortar library. Of course, you can still purchase the eBooks at any time, but the lending library is another option and I wanted you to be aware of it. Below are the links and brief descriptions of the books that are available. If you read one, please let me know how you liked it. Any feedback is appreciated.

Note: When you purchase one of the stories, you can download and read it on the Kindle app on your computer or phone; you don’t have to own a physical Kindle. (Note: If you use the Lending Library you have to read it on a Kindle device.) See? There really are no excuses to not check out one or more of these stories...

Thanks again for your interest. Now, go read!

Back, Again
Length:  215 pages
“Back, Again” is the story of a man who spent his life doing right and, at 45, finds the results wanting. He makes a radical decision in response to his disillusionment and turns his back on his life-long faith, shirking Christianity and denying the existence of God. This isn’t brought on by tragedy or some earth-shattering event; it’s a sober decision based on doubts and disappointments. On the surface, the story deals with the ramifications of his decision and the toll it takes on long-established relationships, mainly with his wife, children and parents. It also works on deeper levels. It’s a love story between Earl and Ellen. It’s a story of a man in search of himself and it’s a story of redemption.

Store: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0046A9SXA

Two Short Stories
Length: 20 pages
“Two Short Stories” is … well, two short stories. Truth in advertising is alive and well. The first story, “Save Me, Black Jesus,” is a sober look at the prospect of dying told through the eyes of a patient in a hospital. The second story, “Oh, Tanner Baum,” is a humorous look at selecting a Christmas tree told through the eyes of a young boy. The stories are so far apart in tone and concept that they cannot see each other even if they use binoculars. Which is why it makes perfect sense to bundle them together. Seriously. Stop staring at me…

Store: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0046H9I9C

Adam Mahoney, You Just Won!
Length: 106 pages
Adam Mahoney enjoyed a normal existence in a normal town, minding his normal business, okay with being normal. He wakes one morning to discover his new normal is a life that has never been lived, much less successfully navigated. Everything he has known and is comfortable with is taken away. Faced with unlimited possibilities, what will he choose? How will he respond when he knows that no one else could possibly be affected by any action he takes? Can any choice be labelled selfish when he's the last man standing on the face of the earth?

Store: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007V2SEXA
 

4/10/2012

Happy.




From day one she made me happy. Yes, there were the shallow reasons—the smile, the dimples and the attitude. But there was something deeper at work from the start. I sensed it but wasn’t smart enough to analyze, just smart enough to leave it be and see if it stuck.

It did.

She continued to make me happy. Happy she noticed me. Happy she said yes. Happy she agreed we were worth fighting for. Happy she thought having three kids was a great idea. And that deep something that started small took over and burrowed to levels that I could not have imagined.

Yes it did.

Today we celebrate thirty years of marriage.  Today I celebrate thirty years and eleven months of happy. Deep, God-given, inspiring happy.

Happy.

2/07/2012

Tiny Blips of Joy

I was talking to my daughter about a conference she is interested in attending, one where people from different streams of Christianity are getting together to chat, and she ended the conversation by saying, “I’m such a nerd.” (Understand that any reference to talking or a conversation is a description of an instant message chat which happens to be the main way I keep track of my kids these days. And, no, they are not dispersed all over the country, just all over the county.) 

I defended her and told her that her passions were uniquely hers and that in no way made her a nerd. And it got me thinking about what makes us happy. Not the big things—when our team wins, when a child succeeds, when we get a raise—but the smaller things, the quick blips and pokes that pop up from the undercurrent of a normal day. We all have individual touch points that bring some joy into our lives, things that don’t require a group or some leader to drag you forward. The lady that picks up the trash in my office every afternoon likes it when she can just dump the contents of my small receptacle into the big can and not replace my liner. The nurse at the clinic gets excited when she finds a big vein in my left arm when I am there to have blood drawn. A friend offers “high fives” when a song ends in an open chord. Do any of those small details that bring them such joy affect me? No, but at the same time, when I read a perfect paragraph crafted by a favorite author, odds are that won’t do it for them either. 

Thank God we are all different. Thank God there is enough joy to go around. Find some...

1/20/2012

Blog Spamming at the Highest Level

This was so awesome that I had to share. Since most spam comments are over the top attempts to appeal to your vanity by telling you how awesome you are, this new (to me) and fresh approach made me laugh. Out loud. You know, LOL...

The next time I read a blog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as
much as this one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read, but I
actually thought youd have something interesting to say. All I hear
is a bunch of whining about something that you could fix if you
werent too busy looking for attention.

I really hope this bot comes back and spams me again. To double the greatness, this was a comment left on my portfolio site on the "About Me" page. Yes, Mr. Bot, I am looking for attention. Thank you for doing your part.

But What Are You Thinking About?

Dedicated to Ron Nieto. He knows why...




© 2012 Jay Colle

1/05/2012

Book Review: David and the Old Man by William Zemba


This book has a wonderful, unique story wrapped up in an incredibly poorly written package. I tried to look past the writing issues because I wanted to read the tale of the Zemba family and see how it concluded but it was painful. I am frankly surprised this made it past even the lowliest set of eyes at the publisher because there are enough blatant, structural problems throughout the pages that it should have raised many red flags (and then a red pen). Even a cursory edit would have improved this book tenfold.

The story alone is fascinating and unique. Any time a writer can meld generational angst and add male anorexia into the mix, there is potential for some riveting reading. It is too bad that the story gets muddled in the rambling, repetitive and less-than-sophisticated writing style. It is a lost opportunity and we, the readers, are the poorer for it.

BookSneeze® has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book for review.

8/30/2011

The Magic Ticket


I am currently happily involved in a new project with author Ryan Sprague called “The Magic Ticket.” I provide the illustrations for a series of stories about a young boy and the adventures he has with his dad, magically traveling around the country to cities and venues known for their places in college football history. Here is the official “blurb” from the website:

Andrew Camp had no idea his grandfather left him and his father a gift. A magic ticket that takes them on a series of journeys to the meccas of college football. In a race against time, the Camp's must answer questions and solve a riddle to receive the true surprise their grandfather has waiting. Will they accomplish their goals? Will their grandfather accomplish his?

For fifteen weeks, join Andrew and his dad as they jump in the the Red Sea in Lincoln, wake up the echos in South Bend, and see Osceola plant the spear in Tallahassee. 

          Go Blue!, War Eagle!, and Boomer Sooner!
                    Nittany Lions, LSU Tigers, and the Bear... Whoa Nellie. 

It's a college football fan's dream season and a story children will love.

Read The Magic Ticket.

We start this week (Thursday, September 1) so sign up and enjoy the season in a new way. 

Website (with a “bonus” post about me): http://www.magicticketjourneys.com/

8/26/2011

Talking, but no Walking

Peace Be With You by David Carlson

David Carlson conducted more than 30 interviews with monks, nuns and other members of monastic communities around the United States, recording their thoughts and prayers in dealing with modern day terrorism. His search for answers in how they responded to 9/11 and its aftermath is the basis for his personal journey and struggle to find true peace in our time.

This book was not an easy read. I wrote more notes and scrawled more questions in the margins (well, the digital equivalent) as I read than any other book I have consumed since college. I found myself arguing on one page and on the next agreeing, which I am sure will make the author happy. I was both inspired and annoyed which makes this a tough review.

First, the inspiration. It was good to be reminded that all of humanity is loved equally by God and that, as Christians, we are commanded to love them as Christ loves them, regardless if they are terrorists or second cousins. I was also touched by the genuine love the monastic community shows in their circle of influence—whether selling jam, selling dogs or engaging visitors on their home turf. If we would all concentrate on our circle, Christ’s love would spread rapidly. Love God, love people on wheels is a grand concept.

My frustrations with the book were many but the main issue I had was the lack of instruction and real world examples of loving our enemies in a practical way. The monasteries and their occupants, much like the professor author, came across as cogs in spiritual think tanks where folks espouse the virtues of grand ideas but don’t quite get to the hard part of actually doing anything about it. I would love to have read about one of the monks who was heartbroken at the United State’s response to 9/11 and, because of this pain, was moved to action. Not dialoguing with a friendly Muslim or protesting the war (regardless of what they say, those are easy responses), but maybe moving to a Middle Eastern country, integrating themselves in the community and sitting down with the terrorists and practically working out the ideas they talked about. What does this love leading to peace look like when it is lived out on a daily basis? Alas, there was not one example of this and it would have given the book a lot more credibility if it had been included.

I, personally, do not know any Christian who hates the Muslim community (and, shockingly, I would be considered an evangelical). I do know people who live with Muslims in the Middle East (Israel, to be exact) and know first hand that Jesus is moving in their midst and changing hearts. I read about Palestinians who are Christians and know that Jesus is alive and gaining ground there as well. I also know Christians, home and abroad, who are concerned about terrorism and how to deal with it and are conflicted on how to love people who hate you and want you dead for no other reason than you don’t believe like they do. A book showing how to do that would be very helpful. A book using a giant brush to paint American Christians as blood thirsty maniacs who don’t spend any time thinking and reflecting about serious things and want all our enemies dead? Not so much.

I am glad I read this book but I am also glad to be finished with it.

BookSneeze® has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book for review.

7/29/2011

Faux Famous Free Fiction Friday!

It’s Friday so I figured I might as well give away some more fiction. After all, Free Fiction Wednesday suffers from its lack of perfect alliteration. So, today is Free Fiction Friday and it is your lucky day because today is a two-fer. I have bundled two short stories together for the “price” of one. And since it is free, that makes it even cheaper (or should I say “less expensive”?)! And the best part? They are short. For all of you that were hesitant to read “Adam Mahoney...” because it was a novel, this will be perfect for you. Short stories. Short. Not long at all. Go forth and read!

Two Short Stories:
“Two Short Stories” by Jay Colle is … well, two short stories. Truth in advertising is alive and well. The first story, “Save Me, Black Jesus,” is a sober look at the prospect of dying told through the eyes of a patient in a hospital. The second story, “Oh, Tanner Baum,” is a humorous look at selecting a Christmas tree told through the eyes of a young boy. The stories are so far apart in tone and concept that they cannot see each other even if they use binoculars. Which is why it makes perfect sense to bundle them together. Seriously. Stop staring at me…

To make it easy, I am supplying it in three formats: Mobi for your Kindle, ePub for iBook (and most everyone else) and as a PDF for those who may want to print or bypass an ebook reader. Download the version you prefer (or all three, I don’t mind) and enjoy. If you like it, I ask that you consider two things:
  1. Let me (and the world) know by leaving a comment on this page and
  2. Pass it on to other people who might also enjoy reading it (include this email with the download information).
That’s it. Simple Simon. Free fiction for all. Download and enjoy!

7/21/2011

Doggy Dilemma

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7/20/2011

Do Dogs Dream?

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7/04/2011

Free Fiction, No Strings Attached.

I have recently completed a novel. Yeah, yeah, everyone is a writer. I know, it is cliche and predictable. What isn’t predictable is that I am giving it away. Yes, you read that correctly, it is yours for free if you want it. So, what is it about? This:

Adam Mahoney enjoyed a normal existence in a normal town, minding his normal business, okay with being normal. He wakes one morning to discover his new normal is a life that has never been lived, much less successfully navigated. Everything he has known and is comfortable with is taken away. Faced with unlimited possibilities, what will he choose? How will he respond when he knows that no one else could possibly be affected by any action he takes? Can any choice be labelled selfish when he's the last man standing on the face of the earth?

To make it easy, I am supplying it in three formats: Mobi for your Kindle, ePub for iBook (and most everyone else) and as a PDF for those who may want to print or bypass an ebook reader. Download the version you prefer (or all three, I don’t mind) and enjoy. (Right click the desired link and select Save link as... from your options, then select a place on your computer to download the file.)

If you like it, I ask that you consider two things, okay, maybe three:
  1. Let me (and the world) know by leaving a comment on this page or the Facebook page and
  2. Pass it on to other people who might also enjoy reading it (include this email with the download information) then
  3. Go like the Facebook Fan Page for the book and "Like" it. 

That’s it. Simple Simon. Free fiction for all. Download and enjoy!

6/16/2011

Trust 30: Entry Seventeen

Invent the Future by Cindy Gallop
A man should learn to detect and watch that gleam of light which flashes across his mind from within, more than the lustre of the firmament of bards and sages. Yet he dismisses without notice his thought, because it is his. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

My favorite quote of all time is Alan Kay: ‘In order to predict the future, you have to invent it.’ I am all about inventing the future. Decide what you want the future to be and make it happen. Because you can. Write about your future now.
(Author: Cindy Gallop)


My future? It will only be mildly different from my present.

In the future I will have five dollars more than I need instead of five dollars less.

In the future people that do not know me will read my words and be genuinely interested in what I am working on next.

In the future I will wake up every morning and see Hope.

In the future I will have very comfortable chairs on the Man Porch. And a real ash tray.

In the future I will read this and laugh.


#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Find out more at http://ralphwaldoemerson.me

6/15/2011

Dork Alert

I am posting this entry from my new iPhone. It's really an experiment to see how complicated it is to complete the task. So far, so good. And when I get better at typing on this phone's virtual keyboard, it will be exponentially better. Till then...

Trust 30: Entry Sixteen

Wholly Strange and New by Bridget Pilloud
When good is near you, when you have life in yourself, it is not by any known or accustomed way; you shall not discern the foot-prints of any other; you shall not see the face of man; you shall not hear any name;—— the way, the thought, the good, shall be wholly strange and new. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Can you remember a moment in your life when you had life in yourself and it was wholly strange and new? Can you remember the moment when you stopped walking a path of someone else, and started cutting your own?

Write about that moment. And if you haven’t experienced it yet, let the miracle play out in your mind’s eye and write about that moment in your future.
(Author: Bridget Pilloud)


Two months ago, we (wife and myself) walked my youngest child through a trying time, dealing with issues that we all have to deal with as we keep moving forward toward our goal of growing up. (What we eventually realize is, but not at 19 years old, we never stop growing up but we, hopefully, have more ammo from experience to deal with the struggles.) It was a particularly arduous few weeks, requiring my wife and I to invest quite a bit of emotional energy in helping him successfully walk through it. Toward the end, as issues were clearing up and the situation was finding closure, I was talking to him on the phone and realized that I was done. That the most recent circumstance was a marker and it was time to let go. I can’t pinpoint any one reason I sensed this—maybe it was his voice and the confidence he exuded, or maybe it was his overall calm demeanor—but I knew that we had just experienced our final push together. I was surprised, not that it happened, but more at the timing. There was no warning; it arrived unannounced.

This has happened with my other children as well but what made this moment feel so real was that it happened with our youngest child. I couldn’t nod in approval and quickly turn my focus on the next child because there wasn’t a next child, he was it. I understand that I will never be completely done with my kids, there will always be situations they roll into and advice that will be freely given (even now I am encouraging and advising them on major decisions), but there is a moment when you don’t have to pull and cajole (as much) and you actually feel confident that they don’t need you to use your muscle for them to be successful. The hand you’ve been using to grab their shirt and keep them upright (or smack them in the head) can now be used for a pat on the back.

The moment is both liberating and sad but mainly liberating. It is the ultimate moment of no longer walking a path of someone else, although walking their path has had a lot to do with cutting my own; the trails are very intertwined and rightfully so. Currently I am sharpening my machete and loading up on bug spray, prepping and anticipating where my path will veer. Hopefully I will still be able to hear the kids hacking away at theirs...

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Find out more at http://ralphwaldoemerson.me

6/14/2011

Trust 30: Entry Fifteen

One Thing by Colin Wright
Do your work, and I shall know you. Do your work, and you shall reinforce yourself. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Take a moment, step back from your concerns, and focus on one thing: You have one life to achieve everything you’ve ever wanted. Sounds simple, but when you really focus on it, let it seep into your consciousness, you realize you only have about 100 years to get every single thing you’ve ever wanted to do. No second chances. This is your only shot. Suddenly, this means you should have started yesterday. No more waiting for permission or resources to start. Today is the day you make the rest of your life happen. Write down one thing you’ve always wanted to do and how you will achieve that goal. Don’t be afraid to be very specific in how you’ll achieve it: once you start achieving, your goals will get bigger and your capability to meet them will grow.
(Author: Colin Wright)


It is strange, but at my age, a lot of the things I wanted to achieve I did and the things I did not don’t really matter all that much. Some of the the unconquered goals are still possible, but I am not sure I have the desire to burn the energy needed to make them happen. I am not necessarily tired, just content. I tend to derive a lot more pleasure from spending time with my wife and having adult conversations with my kids than holing up in a room trying to get 1000 words written before I sleep. I love sitting on the back porch with friends, maybe smoking a cigar and enjoying a drink, but mainly laughing and leisurely swapping wisdom. And I have discovered a healthy version of living vicariously through my kids, anticipating the great things they will accomplish and  thoroughly enjoying their journey as it plays out in front of me. Yes, there were missed targets and disappointments along the way, but I don’t look back with regret. Rather, I have an appreciation that it’s all turned out just fine.

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Find out more at http://ralphwaldoemerson.me

Trust 30: Entry Fourteen

When good is near you, when you have life in yourself, it is not by any known or accustomed way; you shall not discern the foot-prints of any other; you shall not see the face of man; you shall not hear any name; the way, the thought, the good, shall be wholly strange and new. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The world buzzes about goals and visions. Focus. Create a vivid picture of exactly where you want to go. Dream big, then don’t let anything or anyone stop you. The problem, as Daniel Gilbert wrote in Stumbling Upon Happiness, is that we’re horrible at forecasting how we’ll really feel 10 or 20 years from now – once we’ve gotten what we dreamed of. Often, we get there only to say, “That’s not what I thought it would be,” and ask, “What now?” Ambition is good. Blind ambition is not. It blocks out not only distraction, but the many opportunities that might take you off course but that may also lead you in a new direction. Consistent daily action is only a virtue when bundled with a willingness to remain open to the unknown. In this exercise, look at your current quest and ask, “What alternative opportunities, interpretations and paths am I not seeing?” They’re always there, but you’ve got to choose to see them.
(Author: Jonathan Fields)

I could have written this prompt. I am a journey evangelist. Having the luxury of being able to look back for longer than I have to look forward, I can attest that the life trip is to be enjoyed, not fought against. Just today I was chatting with my youngest son who is in Texas for the summer and facing some big decisions. My final words to him were: “Plan? Absolutely. Be flexible? Oh yeah. Stay prayed up and listen...”

So, today, I want to second the sentiment of the prompt and not add anything to it. Enjoy the journey and don’t get bogged down in the “what ifs” and the “what nows.” Approach the bends and forks in the road with a positive “what can I do with this so I can continue to move forward.” Most importantly, find a way to enjoy...

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Find out more at http://ralphwaldoemerson.me