10/03/2009

¡Cuánto tiempo! ¡Tanto tiempo sin verte!

My daughter posted a simple sentence online: “I need an adventure.”

Yeah, I get that.

This last month has represented a few milestones for me. My youngest son travelled south to go to school, my daughter moved out to her own place in town and I turned 50. The one child at home is my oldest, trying to finish school and plan a December wedding. That is a lot of change to digest in a few short weeks but, honestly, I am good with it all. In fact, I am more than good. I am excited for everyone and the steps they are taking to get on with their lives. To break out of the confines of the walls of our house (literally and figuratively) and begin to create their own stories.

But now I contend with a nagging question: Where does that leave me? A long time ago I adjusted my career goals from whatever far-fetched illustrator/designer dreams I could imagine to simply preparing my three kids to leave my house equipped to take on the world—emotionally and, more importantly, spiritually. It has been an incredible ride, an adventure, that has been a crazy mix of happy and sad tears, lots of prayer and more work than I would have thought necessary when I made my vow. And it has been marvelously satisfying.

But it does raise the question, “What now?” In the micro, my wife and I will still parent, we will still dispense advice and we will strive to be ridiculously awesome grandparents (one day), but when I look at things high level I wonder: What is next? There are infinite possibilities—I come up with something every three minutes or so—but nothing has seemed right. No idea has slipped into a slot comfortably, so I wait. Again. This is not an unusual spot to be in, this life rest stop, but, before, I knew what I was waiting on. An answer, a check, a decision. Now? I have no idea. It’s an interesting, restless plateau. I have reported for duty and await my orders. And my next adventure.